


Not So Different After All

by Cherrypie55



Series: Not So Different Universe [1]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Blood and Injury, Canonical Character Death, Enemies to Friends, Episode AU: s09e07-08 The Zygon Invasion/The Zygon Inversion, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Minor The Doctor | Theta Sigma/The Master | Koschei (Doctor Who: Academy Era), Nightmares, Non-Graphic Violence, Post-Episode: s08e12 Death in Heaven, S09e1 The Magicians Apprentice AU, S09e10 Face the Raven AU, S09e2 The Witch's Familiar AU, Slight Dark Twelve, twissy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:54:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 32,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27559405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cherrypie55/pseuds/Cherrypie55
Summary: Set after S8ep12 Death in Heaven and throughout series 9.The Doctor finds out Missy lied to him in the graveyard. Gallifrey isn't there and he's angry. He tracks Missy down to a long forgotten planet and confronts her.'Leaning forwards slightly she looked him straight in the eye before spitting blood at his feet. “And you think we’re so different.” '
Relationships: Twelfth Doctor/Missy
Series: Not So Different Universe [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2159958
Comments: 91
Kudos: 73





	1. Chapter 1

  
Go home she’d told him, we’ll be fine. And of course the Doctor had lied, that’s rule number one after all, of course he’d told Clara that he’d found Gallifrey. What was he supposed to do? Tell her Missy had lied, again. Tell her he’d trusted her after everything that she’d done and she’d lied. Tell her how angry he was, how his hearts were breaking, that he felt like he was not only loosing his newest friend but also his oldest. No. So they hugged. He allowed her that, allowed himself, before walking back to his tardis. 

He was still so mad. Why had Missy lied? All that talk of wanting to be friends, he’d let her go, letting everyone believe she was dead. And she lied! “I have to find her.” He growled out into the empty tardis. 

As always the tardis took him where he needed to go. A small house in a deserted town on a long ago forgotten planet. The door slammed open, splintering as it hit the wall. He hadn’t remembered pushing so hard. 

“Honey you’re home.” Her voice sing-songed out from across the room.

“Shut up!” he spat stalking towards her.

“Oh somebody’s got a temper..” Missy began smirking before fear flashed in her eyes as he grabbed her. 

One hand gripped her arm as the other went to her throat as he slammed her back against the wall. The anger inside him boiling over at the sight of her. The Doctor could feel the tardis in the back of his mind prickling at his display. 

As quickly as the fear had flashed across her face it was gone, replaced by that flirtatious smirk she kept using on him.

“I do so like it when you play rough honey.” She drawled licking her lips.

The Doctor pushed her harder against the wall. He just wanted her to stop. Stop lying, stop pretending, stop acting like something she wasn’t. The Doctor knew he wasn’t a good man but the Master, _Mistress_ , was evil. She didn’t want to be friends it was all lies. They could never go back to that, how things were on Gallifrey... Gallifrey. The thought made him see red, his grip on Missy tightening. 

“Hey now don’t leave bruises, what would Clara think?” the flicker of fear back in Missy's eyes.

The Doctor leaned in close to Missy's ear and whispered “Clara’s not here is she.” 

Missy shoved him back then. Freeing her arm and pushing hard against his chest. Stumbling back he chuckled, he’d wondered how long it would take for her submissive act to end. 

“You lied.” He said bluntly.

“Probably.” She shrugged “You killed me.”  
  
“Yes you look really dead right now.” He shot back. 

“I’m very skilled with make-up.” She smirked again. 

“The coordinates.” His voice low, not able to bring himself to say Gallifrey.

“What about them?” she said confusion plain on her face. 

Stalking back towards her, closing the space Missy had put between them, the Doctor let his voice drop to that dangerously low tone that had earned him the title of The Oncoming Storm, The Destroyer of Worlds.

“Stop lying to me.”

Missy mirrored his steps, as they squared off against each other, keeping a distance between them now. 

“Getting senile in your old age are you? Because I’m not lying.” she spat back.

“It’s not there!” he shouted his fist colliding with a nearby table, scattering screws and pieces of metal. 

“Oi I was working there!” Missy shouted back. 

With her guard dropped momentarily, eyes checking the gadget she had been working on, the Doctor advanced quickly . Grabbing her again he shoved her back against the wall, dust falling from the ceiling with the force of it, Missy’s head slamming backwards. Her eyes closed briefly before she grinned, blood coating the teeth she showed. Leaning forwards slightly she looked him straight in the eye before spitting blood at his feet. “And you think we’re _so_ different.”

The Doctor stared as blood began to trickle from Missy’s nose, the anger he felt turning to ice in his veins. “Missy..” he whispered reaching a hand towards her face. 

She slapped his hand away and wiped at the blood with her thumb. “What are you going to do kiss me again? Thanks dear but I’m really over the mixed messages.” 

The blood drained from his face, he really hadn’t meant to kiss her in the graveyard, it was like instinct took over. She’d helped him see, helped him understand who he was. She’d done something undeniably evil but she’d done it for a _good_ reason. In her own twisted way Missy was doing something nice, she wanted to be friends again, she wanted him and he’d just kissed her. 

Then he found out she’d lied to him.

“Missy I..” he tried again.

“Save it. Really. I didn’t have the easiest journey here. This” she gestured to the blood steadily trailing from her nose “isn’t because of you.” 

How could she say that? No matter what form of travel she used to get here it didn’t change the fact he’d just slammed her head against the wall, he’d wanted to hurt her. Why would she try and .. ease his conscience? And why did it make his hearts clench like that? He shook his head trying to clear the invading thoughts. The thoughts of making sure she wasn’t badly hurt and especially the dark little one that reminded him of how they were still pressed against the wall inches apart.   
  
“Gallifrey.” The Doctor swallowed “It’s not there.” The anger gone from his words.

“It was there when I left it. Oh so that’s why you think I lied.” Realisation dawning on her face. “I wouldn’t recommend making the trip personally, they weren’t very pleasant the last time I saw them.”

“How did you escape then? All the other Time Lords aren’t flying around creating havoc so I assume you escaped.” He asked trying to gain any information he could.

“Well aren’t you a clever boy.” Missy smiled at him, it almost seemed genuine “It’s a long story but the short version is I pulled a Doctor and stole a tardis.” 

She still wasn’t moving away from him, wasn’t pushing him back. Even more concerning, neither was he. Their conversation about their homeworld softly spoken in the small space between them. Like an intimate conversation between lovers. He shook his head again because damn it he believed her. Why? She’d lied and hurt him and he’d lost Clara and yet he looked into her eyes and he saw.. something. Hope maybe? But hope for what? Not his friendship surely, he wasn’t that important. 

“What do you want Missy?” he asked unable to bare it.

She just scoffed “My friend back, I already told you that”

“No really.” He pushed not believing she would really go to such lengths because of him, there had to be some master plan.

She just shrugged turning her face away.

This time she didn’t slap him away when he reached for her. He would never admit the slight tremble of his hand as he touched her cheek, just as she would never admit that she leant into his touch, just a fraction. The Doctor could feel his hearts hammering in his chest as he gently wiped at the blood that continued to pour from her nose with his thumb. 

He couldn’t do this.

The Doctor stepped back. Missy stayed where she was. Stood with her back against the wall, head turned to the side, eyes closed. He looked at the blood smeared across her face, the mess littering the floor, his bloody knuckles. He had to leave. Backing out of the small room he kept his eyes on Missy. She never moved, never looked at him. 

Outside he ran the few metres to the tardis slamming the door closed behind him. He felt her anger prickling around him like static electricity as he slid his back down the door. “I know.” He spoke aloud “I’m sorry.” Although it wasn’t just the tardis he was apologising to.

He sat for a long time on the floor. Staring at the blood on his hands, part his part Missy’s. Part of him wanted her to come and knock at the tardis door, to barge in and do... something, and part of him wanted to never see her again. 

He didn’t realise the tears rolling down his cheeks until the tardis stopped prickling and hummed soothingly. At this he picked himself up, walked over to the console and gave her a pat, before pulling the lever that carried them away into the vortex.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor runs away but he doesn't go very far. 
> 
> Missy is trying find a way off of the planet but her plans go downhill when she spots the Doctor in a bar on the wrong side of town.

Missy stood in the doorway of the abandoned house she’d adopted as her workshop. If she were more sentimental she’d say she could almost feel his tardis reaching out to her, stroking the edges of her conscious, but tardis's were machines made to be used not befriended. Just because the Doctor had a frankly disturbing relationship with his didn’t mean she bought into all that. It took him longer than she expected to run away, tardis phasing out leaving dust swirling in its wake. Turning back into the small room she begun collecting the pieces of her latest project that were now scattered across the floor. 

It was only a couple of weeks before Missy saw him again, for her anyway, who knew how long it was for him. She was still stuck on that same dusty planet, getting all the parts she needed for the vortex manipulator 8.4 she was working on was proving more difficult than she’d originally anticipated. Versions 6.2 through 8.3 had really eaten into her supplies, but really what was the point in building a new version if you weren’t going to make any modifications, no explosives this time though, she’d learnt that the hard way with version 7.0. Speaking of parts that’s the exact reason she was in the nearest town that night, a deal had been struck with the local gang leader that would get her just the part she needed to finally get off this dusty world. All the sand reminded her too much of Gallifrey. She sneered at the thought. What she hadn’t expected when she squeezed her way into the seedy establishment was to find the Doctor sat at the bar with a glass filled with a dark amber liquid in his hands. Missy had had enough dealings in this bar over the past two weeks to know the contents of that glass were rather potent, and judging by the collection of empty glasses the Doctor had next to him, he was going to have one hell of a headache come morning. Sticking to the shadows Missy watched him. What was he doing? Getting hammered wasn’t really his style, she had always had to coerce him into drinking with her even back in their academy days. When he left his seat stumbling slightly towards the exit she decided to follow him. She had time to see what he was up to before she had to meet her contact. 

But really what was he up to? Missy followed at a distance as the Doctor walked slowly, his hand brushing against the wall for support, through the dark back alleys of the town. Why would he park his tardis down here? When she saw some of the lower level gang members down the next alley she knew it was going to be trouble but she didn’t expect him to go barrelling in like he wanted a fight. She hesitated a moment as the voices at the end of the alley grew louder, sighing Missy broke into a jog as she came up behind the Doctor. Slinging one arm around his shoulders she fixed her trademark smirk on her face. 

“There’s not a problem here is there boys?” she asked turning on the charm.

“What’s it to you?” one of them asked roughly.

“Oh nothing really.” Missy inspected the nails on the hand not currently around the Doctor’s neck “Except he’s with me. I don’t think your boss would be too happy with you upsetting me now would he?” she asked making her voice sickly sweet. 

That was when the inebriated Doctor decided to chime in “I’m not with you.” His voice not as slurred as Missy would have thought after the amount of alcohol he’d presumably consumed. 

At that they began to laugh.

_Well this isn’t going exactly how I’d hoped_ Missy thought. Slowly lowering her hand from around the Doctor’s neck until she grasped his hand Missy weighed up her options. Her decision was made for her seconds later when the gang members started advancing on them.

“That’s our cue.” She told the Doctor as she squeezed his hand and began to run. 

Dragging him along behind her Missy could only hope his inbuilt tendencies towards running would keep him on his feet. She didn’t even know why she was bothering to help him. She had all but destroyed her chances of getting the part she needed for the vortex manipulator now. It wasn’t her fault if he decided to get drunk and get in a fight, in fact he probably deserved it! But Missy couldn’t get the question out of her head, why? The need to know gnawed at her like an insatiable hunger as they ran through the back alleys of the town. 

Pausing a moment to get her bearings she let go of the Doctor. It briefly crossed her mind that she was acting like one of his ‘companions'. Sneering she pushed the thought away and focused her mind on trying to sense his tardis. Not the tardis her- _it_ self of course but the temporal disturbance caused by coming in and out of the vortex. That’s when she heard footsteps, looking both ways Missy again weighed her options. One way was a dead end, well not for her but she doubted the Doctor could scale the eight foot fence right now, so that was out. They could carry on running but the gang members practically lived on these street they were bound to catch up with them eventually, strike number two. Fighting was usually an option Missy enjoyed but being out numbered ten to one whilst trying to watch out for the Doctor, as she doubted he would fight even if he could, didn’t sound like her idea of a good time, strike number three. The clock was ticking down with the footsteps marching ever closer. Just then an idea struck her, she dragged the Doctor further into the alley to the darkest area where even the cracked street lights couldn’t permeate. She pushed him roughly against the wall her hands going to either side of his face pulling him down towards her. _Hiding in plain sight_ she thought _it’s perfect. We look like any other couple having a quick fumble after a night in the bar._ Her ears straining as she listened to the footsteps closing in on them. Her hands masking their faces the best she could. Of course coordinating their hiding would have worked better but there wasn’t time for that, she just hoped he wouldn’t go all ‘Valeyard’ on her and start pushing her around again. That would really mess up her plan. 

His hands on her hips pulled her out of her thoughts. 

“Missy.” He whispered into the space between their lips.

“Shh.” She hushed him, ears still straining.

She didn’t move away, they were supposed to look like they were kissing after all. He could get all righteous after she gotten them both out of here. As his hands began to trail upwards she glared at him, was he aware enough to have caught onto the plan? Voices at the opening of the alley had her attention as he began to speak again. A muffled “Mi..” was all he managed to get out before she covered his mouth with her own, willing him to just shut up! 

Finally after what felt like an eternity the voices stopped and the footsteps faded away. It was only then that she realised the Doctor was actually moving. His hands pulling at her hips, his lips moving against her own. She pushed away from him glaring at him angrily.

“What are you doing?” she spat.

“I...You..” he stumbled over his words.

“You know what I don’t care. What are doing here? Why are you sat drinking on your own? Were you trying to get in a fight? Because you were certainly going the right way about it!” she hissed still keeping her voice low.

“You followed me?” he asked, eyebrows knitted together in concentration.

“You weren’t exactly keeping a low profile! You were off your face stumbling about in a bar on the wrong side of town. I think what you mean is thank you!” Missy whispered angrily.

“Thank you?” he asked, again with that stupid confused look on his face.

“Yes. Thank you Missy for not letting me get beaten to a bloody pulp, thank you Missy for hiding me in a dank alleyway instead of going about your obviously important business.” She ranted.

“You kissed me.” He said. His hand reached up and touched his lips as if just remembering.

She huffed.

“Yes that’s the hiding in a dank alleyway part. I pretended to kiss you to hide us from those goons.” Did he really think she just kissed him for fun? 

“Pretended?” he asked, a weird look on his face.

“Obviously. Why? Do you think I get off on kissing you?” Missy smirked at him pausing. 

Sure the first time they had seen each other in these bodies she had kissed him. She had given him the biggest clue she could about who she was but that had mostly been about carrying out her plan, trying to give him his birthday surprise. _That he turned down_ her mind supplied sulkily. Then he’d kissed her in the graveyard and she’d thought he liked his present, that he understood how alike they were, that he wanted to be friends again. Like the old days. But he didn’t.

“I told you I’ve had enough of mixed signals.”

_It’s not like you wanted to kiss me anyway, the last time we saw each other you wanted to fight me, to hurt me_ she thought closing her eyes and pinching the bridge of her nose. 

“Yes.” The Doctor spoke quietly into the dark alleyway.

“What?” Missy asked confused.

“Yes. I was trying to get in a fight.” He admitted, his voice slurring more now as the liquor he’d drunk continued to hit his bloodstream.

She opened her eyes and looked at him. He was slumped against the wall, his head down, eyes avoiding hers. 

“You hate violence. What would make you want to hurt people ?” she asked.

Her mind flashed back to him slamming his way into her makeshift workshop, the fire in his eyes as he shoved her against the wall, hand at her throat. She knew he was capable of violence. He was capable of a lot more than he liked to think about but he never enjoyed doing it. 

“I didn’t want to hurt anyone.” He said shrugging.

“Ahh, so you mean you wanted to get beaten to a bloody pulp then?” she guessed.

His eyes flicked up to hers briefly before closing. He pushed himself off the wall and staggered trying to gain his balance.

“I need to find the tardis.” He said as he attempted to walk away.

It was more controlled falling than anything that resembled actual walking. 

Missy knew she wouldn’t get anything more out of him now. At least her curiosity was somewhat sated. From what she could piece together something happened that made him feel guilty, made him feel like he needed to be punished, hence the go out and get beaten up mentality. Thinking about it more he probably got drunk first and came up with the punishment plan afterwards. He always was a bit of a masochist. Although what he had done that would’ve made him feel that guilty she didn’t know.

“You’re going the wrong way.” She called out.

He looked back at her.

Missy walked swiftly towards him before pulling one of his arms around her shoulders to support him.

“Three alleys to the right, one left and then you’re there. Come on.” She said, half dragging him along.

The quicker she got him back there the quicker she could try and salvage her meeting.

  
Once they reached his tardis she had to dig around in his pockets to try and find a key. He insisted he could open the doors without one but it didn’t seem to be working. Missy suspected the box didn’t approve of the state he had returned in. 

Finally inside and Missy could feel the box definitely didn’t approve of her being there. “You know how to hold a grudge don’t know I wasn’t even me back then, totally different man.” She muttered as she let the Doctor go, he slumped to sit on the stairs leading down to the console. “This was nothing to do with me you know.” She spoke louder into the room, gesturing to the Doctor, as the air prickled harshly around her. “Look at me talking to a box. I’m as bad as him.” She thought aloud. Missy walked towards the console and alarms started going off around her. “Oh calm down you stupid box! I’m not going to steal you that’s his thing!” She shouted holding up the key she had taken from the Doctor before placing it forcefully on the console. The alarms stopped immediately but the prickling feeling remained. 

Turning to leave Missy saw that the Doctor had passed out on the steps. Rolling her eyes she dragged him up and along a little ways into a recliner chair next to a bookcase. Before she knew what she was doing Missy was leaning over him repositioning the cushion behind his head. Huffing to her herself she shook her head, jabbing him once in the ribs with her finger for good measure, she walked out of the tardis slamming the door behind her. Serves him right for screwing up my chances of getting out of here. If she couldn’t salvage this meeting who knew how long before another opportunity came up. She glanced up at the moon, using its positioning to check the time, before setting off at a run to try and get this part. She really needed to get off this rock soon, _I hate it here_ she thought bitterly, sparing a last angry glare back at the tardis as she rounded the corner.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor wakes up hungover and while thinking over the events of the night before decides he needs to see Missy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided to change the rating for this from teen to mature. There are going to be mentions of blood and injuries in this chapter and the next. While none of this is particularly graphic I would rather err on the side of caution and not potentially upset any younger readers. 
> 
> Also while I'm here thank you all for reading! This little idea has spiralled from a one shot into something with a mind of its own. So I'm not sure how long this will be in total but thanks for enjoying this twissy ride along with me.

The first thing the Doctor became aware of was the pounding behind his eyes. Groaning he lifted an arm trying to block out wherever the light was coming from. That was when he realised he must be inside the tardis as he felt her amusement when the lights got brighter. “Leave me alone.” He muttered aloud, hoping she would let him be hungover in peace. She bristled loudly inside his mind making him groan again. Opening his eyes the Doctor blinked and rubbed at his temples. _How did I get in this chair?_ He thought. He remembered Missy, Missy half carrying him to the tardis, remembered her making comments about performance issues when the doors wouldn’t open for him, her taking his key.. his key! Sitting up quickly the Doctor began patting down his pockets just as the tardis hummed at him, drawing his attention to the console and on it his key. Sighing in relief he sagged back against the chair. 

His memories of the night before were fuzzy at best. He hadn’t even realised he was still on the same planet until Missy had shown up, that would be the tardis’s doing he imagined, she wasn’t very happy with how he’d treated Missy. The tardis didn’t trust Missy, that was understandable, but the old girl seemed to have a secret soft spot for her. He supposed it was because she saw everything at once, all the regenerations of the Master, bad and .. not so bad. The different timelines of what might have been, what will be, what could be. And that was the thing that hurt the most, the what could have been. When she’d been there kneeling in front of him asking for his friendship. Not so long ago he had been begging the Master to regenerate, to stay with him, in the tardis just the two of them like they’d planned when they were young. Then she was there asking him for just that and he couldn’t do it. So much had happened he just didn’t trust her and she’d proven him right, she’d lied about the coordinates, he had so hoped he was wrong about her. More than he’d realised. 

The Doctor pushed his palms hard against his eyes trying to clear his muddled thoughts. _I need something for this headache_ he thought to himself. He dragged himself up and started making his way to the tardis’s medical bay. There really wasn’t much need for a full medical bay with just him piloting her but he kept it fully stocked anyway, you never knew when you’d need it. Either way a standard electrolyte replenisher should sort out his headache. The tardis had other ideas though as he walked through the halls the doors around him switching. Groaning again he stopped “I get it, you don’t approve, I’m an idiot, we’ve established that. But I can’t even think straight right now, if you could _please_ let me get to the medical bay I would be very grateful.” He spoke aloud. He felt the tardis humming at him in amusement before the medical bay appeared in front of him. 

Inside he found the medicine he needed, taking it quickly he sat down in a nearby chair to wait for it to take effect. His mind drifted back to the previous night. Where had Missy even come from? She’d said she was following him but why? He shook his head, his memories hazy. Well except one. The one he didn’t want to think about. The one that was accompanied by an ache in his hearts. But that memory was wrong. Her voice echoed in his mind ‘I pretended to kiss you to hide us from those goons.’ It had just been a plan, it was always a plan with her, it wasn’t the kiss his memory was providing. _Missy pushed him against the wall, a little roughly, but then when wasn’t she. Her hands cupping his face as she pulled him down towards her. He didn’t know what to think, his brain dulled from the alcohol, the only thought going through his mind was that she smelt like home. Of running though fields of red grass. When she’d grabbed his hand and they’d run together he could only think of who they used to be. His hearts were hammering in his chest, from the running? The alcohol? “Missy?” he’d asked aloud. She’d hushed him quietly, her body moved closer, or was he pulling her in? His hands had automatically found their way to her hips. It crossed his mind that she seemed so small this time around, so fragile, her body masking the ferocity that burned within. His hands trailed up from her hips wanting to map out what she looked like, how long had it been since they’d been close like this? What were they doing? He began to speak her name again when she kissed him. It wasn’t like at the 3W Institute where she was forceful, trying to prove a point. It wasn’t like in the graveyard where he kissed her on instinct, in gratitude. This was something different. He gripped her harder. Her hands still gently cupped his face, so soft against his skin. He was drowning, so lost in her, worlds could have been burning and he wouldn’t have cared, so long as she was touching him. That always was the problem. She brought out the worst in him, did he bring out the worst in her? Or the best? He could never tell. Suddenly she was pulling away, stepping back, the space between them cavernous._ The Doctor held his head in his hands. It hadn’t been like that. It was pretend, that’s what she said. Why did she have to follow him? Couldn’t she have just left him in peace? Why did it matter to her if he got in a fight? It’s not like he didn’t deserve it. After what he did. How he’d tracked her down, pushed her around, he’d hurt her. No matter what she said he’d hurt her. He’d wanted to hurt her and she’d just stood there and taken it, no retaliation bar a few quips. It wouldn’t have surprised him if she’d joined in with that gang and beaten him. But no they’d ran, together. She’d led him to the tardis, she’d kept him safe. Everything inside him a swirling mess of why? He had to know.

Before he knew it the Doctor was once again at her door. He hovered not quite sure what to do, should he knock? He didn’t do this. Usually he just landed the tardis wherever he wanted to go. Suddenly her voice rung out, the thin wooden walls doing nothing to muffle the sound. 

“I know you’re out there.”

He smiled at that. Of course she did. He gently pushed the door open and stepped into the dark room, lit only by candlelight. It briefly crossed his mind _why doesn’t Missy just fix the electrics if she’s staying here_ as his eyes landed on her. She was sat at the same small table that before was covered with parts. _Ah a vortex manipulator_ he thought _that makes sense_. Any form of time travel was better than none, trust Missy to be able to find the parts to make one. She was hunched over, welders goggles over her eyes, as she soldered two pieces of metal. He waited, knowing better than to interrupt her, their years at the academy proof of that.

A few minutes went by until she stopped. Sighing she put down her tools, took off her gloves and pushed the goggles up onto her head before looking up at him. His sharp intake of breath almost echoed in the quiet room. 

“Missy what happened?” he asked.

He wanted to go to her but simultaneously felt glued to the spot. 

She let out a snort of laughter. “This is what I get for helping you dear.”

“Who did this?” he asked mentally cataloguing her injuries but he had a sinking feeling in his stomach that he already knew.

Her eyes were black, dark purple bruises tainting her skin. A cut on one eyebrow where the skin had broken. Her lip was split on the left side, dried blood crusted there. Who knew what other injuries were hidden beneath her Victorian outfit.

“I was late for a meeting. Let’s just say they didn’t appreciate that I kept them waiting by running around with you.” She didn’t sound angry.

Why wasn’t she angry? Forgetting the reason why he so desperately needed to see her, all thoughts now focused on making sure she was okay, the Doctor walked towards her. 

“Oh I’m really not up for another round today honey maybe another time.” She said not quite pulling off the casualness of the statement as her eyes darted side to side. 

His hearts clenched. “I’m not here to shout at you Missy.” He said as gently as he could. She visibly relaxed a little at his words. “Why don’t you let me patch you up? I’ve got some supplies in the tardis.” 

Missy raised an eyebrow at him. “I don’t think she would be too happy about that.” 

The Doctor let out a small laugh. “Well maybe not, but she’s more cross with me right now. You’ll be fine.” 

“You’re not worried about me kicking you out of your tardis and stealing it? Isn’t that what I do? I’m the villain after all.” Her voice dripped with sarcasm. 

“With how you look right now I think I’ll take my chances.” He joked before realising it was a mistake.

Missy was on her feet in seconds. She stamped on his foot with her heeled boot, using his distraction to grab his arms and push him to the floor. She straddled his waist with one hand at his throat the other held a screwdriver, the non-sonic kind, above his hearts.

“You think I couldn’t kill you in a second?” she hissed. “Don’t mistake my injuries for weakness they mean nothing!” her voice raising to near a shout.

“I know, I know you could.” He tried to placate her all the while his mind whispered that she wouldn’t do it. Which was funny really because she probably would just to prove him wrong. “But you said you wanted to be my friend, my friend wouldn’t do that.”

The Doctor looked her in the eyes, silently asking her to stop with a raise of his eyebrow. After a moment she huffed and sat up muttering something about it not being any fun anyway as she pocketed the screwdriver. It was when she made a move to stand up that pain flashed across her face, anyone else probably wouldn’t have recognised it, but they had known each other too long for him not to see it for what it was. His hand reached for her as if it had a will of its own and she flinched pulling back quickly. Missy stood and turned walking back behind the table, putting it between them like a shield. The Doctor dragged himself to his feet, foot throbbing where she had stamped on it. By which time Missy had turned back to face him, her features a mask of indifference, any hint of pain gone. 

“Missy.” He spoke slowly “Please?”

He didn’t even really know why he so desperately wanted her to come with him. Sure he helped when he came across people in need but contrary to popular belief he didn’t seek out trouble and Missy, Missy was trouble. She always had been. For a long time he had believed he only cared because the Master was the only other Time Lord left. Suddenly he wasn’t alone. Except they weren’t the only two not anymore. Gallifrey was out there, Missy had lied about the coordinates but it was out there, somewhere. So why when the rest of their people were out there was he still so fixated on her? 

“Why does it even matter to you anyway? Isn’t this what you wanted to do to me? When you came charging in accusing me of lying about your precious Gallifrey. Are you just annoyed someone else got there first?” her questions vicious, designed to hurt. 

And they did. Her words stung like a slap to the face. It wasn’t like that! He had been angry, upset, hurt that she’d lied but he hadn’t wanted to do that. Didn’t want to hurt her like that. Did he? 

“I just want to help, it’ll only take five minutes.” He was close to pleading now.

Minutes passed in silence before Missy sighed, looking up at the ceiling before looking him in the eye. “That’s not something to brag about dear.” Her flirtatious smirk back in place.

Relief washed over him and he smiled at her. It briefly crossed his mind that he should probably be more concerned about why he so desperately wanted to help her. Why it hurt so much when she’d lied to him. Why last nights kiss being pretend left him feeling unsettled.

“Come on then I haven’t got all day.” Missy’s voice snapping him out of his thoughts. 

He nodded once before leading the way to the tardis. _Hopefully the old girl won’t give me any grief for bringing Missy on board again_ he thought. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the medical bay of the tardis the Doctor helps Missy with her injuries.

Missy perched in a chair in the medical bay of the Doctor’s tardis. She didn’t think she’d ever be here again, especially since her grand gesture to try and win his friendship back had failed. It hadn’t changed much, not in comparison to the rest of his tardis which seemed to be in a permanent state of mid-life crisis, the medical bay resembling a strange hybrid between a Gallifreyan hospital and an Earth one. There were a handful of hospital style beds with IV fluid bags strapped up next to them, Missy wondered how often all of this actually got any use. As the Doctor was searching through one of the many cabinets, she allowed herself to grimace in pain while his back was turned. She was pretty certain her eye socket was fractured along with two, maybe three ribs. _Those bastards_ she thought. The gang members that had been chasing her and the Doctor had got back to their boss before she did. Worse than being kicked and beaten was the fact she hadn’t gotten the part she needed, which meant who knows how much longer on this wretched planet. Missy could deal with pain it was nothing new to her but being stuck in one place was unbearable. She fixed an indifferent look on her face as the Doctor turned around. Showing him weakness was not an option. 

“This should help with the bruises.” He said.

He opened a jar of a green ointment and dipped in a piece of cloth. 

“Put your head back for me?” he asked quietly.

“Look at you acting like a _real_ Doctor.” She responded smirking.

“I’m a Doctor of many things I’ll have you know.” He replied with a frown before smiling back at her.

“Remind me, did you even pass _any_ of your exams?” she asked, the banter flowing easily.

The Doctor chuckled at that as he reached towards her and gently tilted her head back. His fingers slightly buried in her hair as he did so and she briefly wondered what it would feel like if her hair wasn’t so tightly pinned up. 

It was too much. The conversation was too easy, the casual banter, how gently he dabbed the cold ointment on her face. He was being too nice and everything hurt. _He didn’t want to be friends, doesn’t want to, doesn’t like you, doesn’t want you, he’s the good guy you’re the bad guy_ Missy’s mind racing as the pain flared to blinding levels as he reached her eyebrow. Unable to contain it all she let herself frown just a little, eyes closing. He paused. The cold of the cloth replaced by his fingers. 

“Fractured.” He muttered as he gently felt around.

“I’m aware.” She replied keeping her voice steady.

“It hurts.” He said, a statement not a question.

“No.” She lied. 

“Can you see okay? Double vision?” he asked acting every bit the Doctor.

“It’s fine, it’ll heal on its own.” She had already checked the severity of her injuries after all.

Nodding he picked up the cloth and continued applying ointment to her face. It wasn’t long until the Doctor was putting the ointment away and cleaning his hands. Missy slowly let out the breath she had been holding. 

“So,” he began as he turned back to look at her “what else are we working with? More fractures I assume, any internal injuries?” 

Missy frowned.

“I know you’ve checked yourself.” He continued “But I can do a scan if you prefer not to tell me.” 

“Nothing internal. A couple of ribs are cracked that’s all.” She replied with a sigh.

“Okay, so if you lie down on one of the beds I’ll get an ice pack and some more bruise ointment.” The Doctor told her.

Missy’s eyes narrowed as she looked at the hospital bed. Memories of being strapped to one of these on the Lord President’s orders filled her mind, her mind invaded again and again in an attempt to ‘cure’ her. 

“That desperate to get me into bed are you?” she quipped with a smirk. Trying to make him uncomfortable enough that he wouldn’t make her get on that bed.

“I know it hurts Missy but this will help. I’ve got a modified morphine serum I can give you first if you’d like?” He asked ignoring her comment.

She huffed and stood up, giving him a glare as she leant against the edge of the nearest bed. She’d rather let him think she couldn’t take the pain than tell him the real reason she didn’t want to get on the bed. She unbuttoned her jacket and placed it neatly folded at the foot of the bed, before undoing her left cuff and rolling up her shirt sleeve. 

“Go on then. Stab me.” She said holding out her exposed arm.

After a moments rustling he produced a syringe half filled with a vivid blue liquid. He paused in front of her, staring at a her with a questioning look. She had no idea what he was questioning. If it was her with the sharp pointy object she could see his reservations but he had all the power here. Her little display earlier had only hurt her further, every breath bringing a burning pain deep in her chest. She couldn’t fight him even if she wanted to. 

“Not squeamish are we?” she asked when he still hadn’t moved.

“No, just making sure you’re okay with me doing this.” He said slowly, choosing his words carefully.

“I trust you.” She said before she could stop herself. The words coming out instinctively.

She looked away as his stare intensified, holding her arm out further indicating for him to carry on. Missy kept her gaze averted as he supported her arm with one hand, the other pressing around her forearm. 

“Ready?” he asked.

She nodded once, watching as the blue liquid entered her veins. Almost instantly she felt her senses dull. The pain not as blinding. She breathed deeply. Seconds later her legs felt weak and heavy, she sagged back against the bed.

“What modifications did you make exactly?” she asked, her voice sounded thick in her own ears.

“Here.” He said holding her elbow and helping her up onto the bed. Missy laid down, not quite remembering why she had a problem with the bed in the first place. “I just made it a little stronger, it won’t metabolise as fast either. I adjusted the ratios to account for two hearts. You might feel a little sleepy though.” The Doctor explained.

Missy suddenly giggled. 

“A little sleepy? I haven’t felt this high since the academy. Do you remember that one night?” she asked still giggling.

“Yes I remember.” He answered smiling. Then a moment later “Calm down.” He placed a hand on her shoulder stopping her giggling “You’re still hurt even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.” 

Missy watched him with glazed eyes as his hands went to the buttons of her shirt. He started at the bottom slowly opening them, exposing the pale skin of her stomach as he went.

“I’ve got nothing on under here you know. The corset was a little restrictive. Cracked ribs and all.” She warned him.

He stopped halfway up her shirt, moving the unbuttoned parts out of the way and placing an ice pack against her ribs. She sharply drew in a breath at the cold.

“It’ll take the swelling down. You’re almost done.” He told her.

“Then it’s time to go right? Can’t be caught with the queen of evil aboard your tardis. What a scandal that would be.” She mock gasped at him.

“It’s not like that Missy.” He shook his head.

“Yes it is. You’re good I’m bad. You’re right I’m wrong. We could never be friends I don’t know what I was thinking.” Her drugged mind spilling every thought that crossed it.

“I’m hardly good Missy. Not even three days ago I stormed through your door and pushed you against a wall. I hurt you. That wasn’t good, or right.” He confessed.

It was very recent for him then. Missy wondered if he was only telling her this because she was drugged. Her brain disorientated.

“That wasn’t you being bad, that was you being angry. I’ve done a lot worse when I’m angry that was practically foreplay dear.” She tried to use her flirtatious smile but she wasn’t sure it came out right.

“Yes you’ve done worse but you’ve also done good. Why did you help me? I have to know Missy. You stopped me from getting hurt, you took me back here, why?” the Doctor asked.

Missy held the ice pack that was on her ribs. The cold giving her something to focus her mind on. Why had she helped him? She wasn’t sure why, she’d been curious, wanted to know what he was doing. When it’d been obvious he was about to get in a fight she’d gotten him out of there. It’s not like she wanted to see him hurt. She’d taken him back to the tardis because well, where else would he go? 

“Why would I want to see you get hurt? Plus I could hardly take you back to that shack I’ve been using, I needed to get to my meeting, I needed that dematerialisation circuit. I can’t be stuck here much longer. Time is so infuriatingly linear. There’s so much sand.” She rambled, it was getting harder to keep focused on one train of thought. 

“Why wouldn’t you want to hurt me? I hurt you.” he insisted.

“Isn’t that something to do with friendship? I don’t know I’m not particularly well versed in it. I did it all for you though, you know? The cybermen I mean. I thought you’d be pleased.” She told him, her brain all over the place, flitting from thought to thought .

“Why would you think that? When have I ever wanted that?” he asked leaning closer, looking at her face.

Her skin felt flushed. Everything swaying slightly. The Doctor’s hand was at her wrist, feeling her pulse. Were her hearts racing? Her free hand went to her chest over her hearts. His eyes followed her movement. He pulled out his sonic screwdriver and scanned her before placing his hand against her forehead.

“The last I knew you wanted to see the stars together then you left without me.” Missy whispered, her fingers finding the brooch at her neck, stroking it gently.

“I.. I didn’t mean to leave you. There wasn’t much time it just happened.” He replied.

“Do you remember giving me this?” she asked, indicating to the brooch “All that time ago. Are you surprised I kept it?” 

“Yes Missy I remember.” The Doctor said gently.

“Were you even a tiny bit glad when you found me? Dear old professor Yana. Hidden away at the end of the universe. What a place to hide something eh? Would you have preferred one of the others? Mortimus? Ushas? Magnus?” she asked as tears sneaked their way towards the corners of her eyes. 

“Missy..” he began.

“Theta please?” she pleaded.

She wanted more than anything to feel like his friend again. If only for a moment.

“We left those names behind a long time ago, we’re not those people anymore.” He spoke gently even though his words hurt.

“We could be. You remember how it used to be don’t you? On Gallifrey. You told me I was brilliant, a genius. You told me we could travel the stars together, that it would be your honour. You told me I could be beautiful, won’t you let me be beautiful? Won’t you let me try?” the tears silently flowed down her face now.

Her disorientated mind blurred the lines between their regenerations. _Two hearts and both of them yours_ she thought echoing their conversation at 3W. The carefully constructed walls she kept up were crumbling in a morphine fuelled haze. 

She felt his thumb wipe at her tears.

“I’m your friend.” She whispered as her eyelids grew heavy.

“My oldest friend. Rest now, the side effects of the serum have hit you harder than I expected.” He explained.

Missy didn’t want to but her body grew heavier even as she fought it. Unable to keep her eyes open any longer. Just before sleep claimed her she felt a hand stroking her hair and a whispered “Sleep now Koschei.”   



	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor sits at Missy's bedside and considers how much they've both changed.

Once he knew she was fully asleep the Doctor removed his hand from Missy’s head. He turned and took a few steps away from her, his hands raked through his own hair as he blew out a deep breath and squeezed his eyes shut. He paced back and forth trying to calm the hammering of his hearts. She didn’t know what she’d been saying, her mind disorientated with the opiates in her system. 

Why had it affected her so much? He’d tested that dosage on himself before and it hadn’t had that affect. He turned back to look at her. It was then he noticed just how thin she was, her ribs clearly visible. He sighed and removed the ice pack, grabbing the bruise ointment again. This time he didn’t bother with a cloth and instead dipped his bare fingers into the cool green gel and began gently rubbing it onto her fractured ribs. Her skin mottled with purple and green and slightly overheated. A thin sheen of sweat covered her body. Her head tossed from side to side as he touched her injured body. He finished as quickly as he could and cleaned off his hands before returning to her side. He carefully did up the buttons of her shirt, covering her exposed skin. 

Pulling one of the chairs over to Missy’s bedside he sat down and held his head in his hands. He thought of just how thin she was under the layers of her clothes, was she even looking after herself at all? Not that he was the best at remembering to sleep, he usually flew from adventure to adventure running himself ragged until his body demanded sleep. _Maybe we both need some down time_ he pondered. Not together of course, never together. Not that he hadn’t wanted that before _Maybe I've been wandering for too long. Now I'll have someone to care for._ The words from regenerations past echoed in his mind. But they couldn’t do that now. She couldn’t stay here. Even if she wanted to, did she want to? At the graveyard she’d offered to go to Gallifrey with him _we can go together, just you and me. Just like the old days_ she’d said. She hated Gallifrey why would she even say that, why would she agree to be clapped in irons? The Master had died to avoid that very fate how much had Missy changed? How much had he changed that he hadn’t accepted her offer? But she was lying. Her offer wasn’t real. 

The Doctor heard her moving and looked up. Her brow was creased as her head tossed from side to side again. She was sweating heavier. He got up and scanned her temperature again, she was running a fever. Turning around he began searching for some medication when he heard her mumbling. 

“You think I don’t know pain? It’s not going to work.” She muttered barely loud enough for him to hear.

He wondered if she was remembering her recent fight, the reason for her injuries.

“You can’t fix this. You made me.” She continued.

Maybe not. Maybe this was something else entirely. He found the cooling patch he was searching for and walked back towards her.

“Not again, not again, not again.” She chanted, her head thrashing now.

The Doctor cupped her face with one hand and applied the cooling patch across her forehead with the other before stroking her cheek, trying to calm her fevered mind. Missy’s eyes fluttered open.

“Doctor? How are you here?” she asked looking panicked “Can you get me out of here, please before they come back.” 

“Missy, Missy it’s okay, you’re safe, you’re in my tardis.” He tried to reassure her.

“No no no, I’m on Gallifrey. In the hospital still, look around, see? Can I come with you? You said I could before. Before they come back. It hurts.” Her panic only getting more intense.

Her fever combined with the morphine was clearly messing with her mind.

“Missy listen to me,” he said still cupping her face making her look at him “you’re in the medical bay of my tardis, you were injured. They’re not going to hurt you anymore.” 

“He’s got people everywhere you can’t promise they won’t come back.” Her voice losing its power.

“Who has?” he asked no longer following.

“Rassilon.” She whispered looking around.

Rassilon? Did she really believe she was still on Gallifrey? What had they done to her? She said it hurt, that they had been hurting her, that she was still in the hospital. Why had she been in the hospital?

“Missy why has Rassilon put you in the hospital?” he asked, trying to find answers.

“He wants to cure me. The drums he wants to remove the drums but they can’t. Again and again they go in and try and undo what they did but they can’t. They can’t do it Doctor.” Her voice fading more and more as the cooling patch brought her fever down.

That’s what they’d done to her? They’d penetrated her mind repeatedly against her will to try and undo the signal they themselves had placed there. In that moment the Doctor remembered why he hated Gallifrey so much sometimes, why Missy hated it so much. Yet she still offered to go with him when she thought that’s what he wanted. He could see sleep had almost claimed her again now that her fever was coming down.

“It’s okay Missy, I’m here now, I’ll help you.” He said wanting to soothe her.

She nuzzled her face against his hand and smiled, much calmer now.

  
The Doctor stayed in that position, cupping her face until his arms began to ache. He stretched his arms and shook them out not quite sure what to do with himself, he didn’t want to leave Missy in case she woke up confused again. The tardis hummed sadly, she’d been surprisingly quiet since he’d brought Missy aboard. Which he was thankful for, it was difficult enough getting Missy to agree to treatment without the tardis getting huffy. Not for the first time he wondered why the tardis had a soft spot for Missy. Maybe she had changed, if the tardis felt differently about her this regeneration maybe, just maybe she had. 

The anger he felt towards Rassilon, towards the high council, for doing that to her burned inside him. The drums had driven the Master insane, had been the beginning of him losing his best friend. To then have them rip her mind apart to try and remove them, and to what end? Did they succeed? Did they make her go all the more insane through tearing her mind to shreds? If not then who was she now, was Missy the same as the Time Lord he had gone to the academy with? This was the closest in such a long time she had been to being the child he had known, the child he grew up with, the child he had killed to protect. Here he was wanting to protect her all over again. Memories of their years at the academy flashed through his mind, he didn’t usually allow himself to think back that far. Meetings with the Deca, study sessions in the vast libraries. Sneaking around with Koschei, narrowly avoiding getting in trouble. Late nights sat together on his bed, whispers of their futures, of being renegade Time Lords. Could she be that person again? She’d called him Theta. She hadn’t called him that since they’d graduated, since they’d chosen their names, since he’d left her behind. 


	6. Chapter 6

Missy slowly felt herself return to consciousness. Her ribs still throbbed, her mouth was dry and her hand was .. warm? She cracked her eyes open and looked down towards her hand. Her hearts beat faster as she saw the Doctor there, he was sat in a chair next to the hospital bed, elbows resting on his knees, head hanging, but there cupped gently between his hands was her own. Her fingers twitched of their own accord causing him to look up.

“Are you back with us this time?” he asked, not releasing her hand.

“Wh..” she stopped and cleared her throat “What do you mean?” her voice rasped against her dry throat.

“Do you know where you are?” he continued questioning.

Her brow furrowed “I’m in your tardis.” She answered confused.

His lips lifted in a small smile. 

“I’ll get you some water, hold on.” He said, finally releasing her hand to go and retrieve a glass of water.

She merely nodded, holding her own hand in confusion. What had happened? He’d given her a modified morphine serum and helped her lay down, she’d felt weak, dizzy. They’d spoken? What about? Her head was pounding. 

He returned moments later, first adjusting the bed into a seated position before handing her the glass. She nodded at him again, accepting the drink. The cool water felt heavenly against her dry throat, had she been screaming? She wracked her brain trying to remember what they’d spoken about before she’d passed out. Why was he holding her hand? It was such a familiar gesture, almost friendly. 

“How do you feel?” he asked, choosing to stand next to her bed now.

“Like I’ve been hit by a truck. Next time we do drugs I get to pick.” She answered with a smirk.

Although sleep had not been planned it had certainly made her feel better. Besides the obvious injuries and pounding headache of course. 

He let out a snort of amusement before turning serious. “Missy, can I ask you something?” 

“You can ask anything you like dear, doesn’t mean you’ll get any answers.” Where was he heading with this?

“Do you still hear the drums?” he asked gently.

The only sound she could hear then was the blood rushing in her ears. She’d thought it was a morphine fuelled hallucination. Her on Gallifrey, strapped to a hospital bed, when he’d appeared, a vision in front of her. She’d begged him to help her, to save her, to help her escape from Rassilon himself. 

“How do you know that?” she hissed defensively.

“You were out of it for a while there. You were mumbling out loud, you spiked a fever which didn’t help. At one point you woke up and were speaking to me but you didn’t know where you were.” He explained.

“Gallifrey.” She muttered mostly to herself.

“You seemed to recognise me, you spoke about the drumming, they were trying to remove it. I just want to know, did they succeed?” he asked.

“I always know it’s you.” She said absentmindedly “And if you must know yes, no more percussion up here,” she gestured to her head “no woodwind, no brass.” She said trying to joke.

The memories from that time were overwhelming. She didn’t know how it hadn’t caused her to regenerate, or maybe it did? The start of this regeneration was a little hazy. Either way the memories of them forcing their way into her mind remained crystal clear, the fodder of her nightmares. 

“Missy.” His voice bringing her out. “Are you okay?”

“Yes. Yes, fine.” She answered. She was always fine. Always had to be. “So, is that me all patched up then?” 

“Technically yes.” He paused “But.. it would be beneficial if you stayed a while for observation.”

“Observation?” she questioned.

“Well you had quite a reaction to the serum, I wouldn’t want you spiking another fever.” He answered nonchalantly. “Speaking of.” 

He leant over her and pulled a gel cooling patch from her forehead before placing a fresh patch in its place. Missy sighed at the relief it brought her sore head. 

“I suppose it wouldn’t kill me to stay a little while longer. Be careful though dear you’re starting to act like my friend, and we all know you wouldn’t want that.” The last part stage whispered like a secret. 

“But it’s what you want?” the Doctor asked.

“We’ve been over this.” She replied. Why when she was actually being honest about something did he not believe her? She really was actually trying. “Sit with me?” 

He hesitated before taking the seat that had been moved next to the bed. _He watched over me?_ She thought. 

“How long was I out?” she asked, curious.

“A little over six hours.” He responded “You must have needed the rest.” 

“Oh rest is for lesser mortals, you know that.” No wonder she felt so well rested.

“Even Time Lords need rest sometimes Missy. And food.” He said looking at her pointedly.

“You didn’t like what you saw under my clothes?” she pretended to pout “I’ve been a little busy trying to get off that stupid planet but if you’re offering to take me for dinner...” she said putting her smirk back on her face.

“If that’s what it takes to get you to look after yourself.” He said sounding sincere.

“Why do you all of a sudden care about what happens to me? You don’t want to be my friend but you take me in and tend to my injuries, you care about my health. Is this just a ‘Doctor’ thing where you need to fix everyone?” she asked, confused why he seemed so different. What had been said between them?

“No it’s not a ‘Doctor’ thing.” He replied his brow creasing.

  
They sat in silence for a while after that. She didn’t want to leave but she also didn’t believe he truly wanted her there. This was just some twisted sense of duty. She didn’t understand what had happened and she didn’t want to ask, didn’t want to admit that she didn’t know something. The memory was there, dancing just out of reach, the whispers of her own voice almost reaching her. 

The Doctor stood up, it would have seemed sudden had she not been watching him intensely, and reached for the now warm cooling patch on her head. It had stopped working a while back but she hadn’t mentioned it. He took out his sonic screwdriver and scanned her again, he was apparently satisfied with the results as he pocketed the screwdriver again.

“Well you’re free to go.” He said like he was dismissing her.

His work was done here, his duty carried out. Missy’s stomach churned, their conversation had flowed so easily aboard his tardis, surrounded by all the reminders of Gallifrey she could almost trick herself into believing they were more than enemies. 

  
She followed him through the winding halls of the tardis towards the console room. 

“Well I’ll be off, evil to be done you know.” She said with a smirk that hid the continued churning in her stomach.

“Missy wait.” He said as she made to step towards the doors. “Here.” 

He pulled something out of his pocket and held it out to her. She closed the space between them and held out her hand. He covered her hand with his own as he placed the small hard item in her palm. He lingered a moment before taking a step back.

“A dematerialisation circuit?” she asked, looking at the object now in her hand “Don’t most Doctor’s give out lollypops?” 

“Well I thought you’d like this more. Consider it a thank you, for agreeing to let me treat you.” His voice soft.

She nodded sharply as her hearts clenched.

“Right.” Was all she could say before opening the doors and stepping out.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor gets an unexpected call from Missy.

It had been a few weeks since the Doctor had seen Missy. He hadn’t expected to hear from her so soon, if at all, but when he answered the ringing phone in the tardis her voice greeted him on the other end.

“Hello dear.” She said, the smirk evident in her voice. “So about that date, I want pizza, the authentic Italian stuff. And ice cream, preferably chocolate.”

“Date?” he asked.

“Yes, you said you’d take me to dinner. You haven’t forgotten already have you?” 

He could picture the pout on her face, the same pout she’d worn when she’d accused him of not liking what was under her clothes. He felt the heat rise on his face at the memory. He’d never said he didn’t like what he’d seen he just wasn’t looking, nor like that, he was thinking about her health nothing else. 

“I remember.” He told her.

It’s not like he was lying, he really would take her for food if it meant she was eating, just hearing her call it a date unsettled him.

“Good, I’ll send you the coordinates. Don’t be late.” She said as she hung up the phone. 

He felt a ripple across the psychic paper in his pocket, pulling it out he saw a set of coordinates followed by an M. Well he hadn’t been to Italy in a while. 

  
A brief trip to Italy later and the Doctor landed at the coordinates Missy had sent. Moments after landing a knock came at the door, he crossed the console room and swung open the door, revealing Missy standing there with a bottle of wine hanging in her hand. 

“Wine?” he asked.

Were they really doing this? Did she actually want this to be a date?

“Well I thought about bringing something stronger but after the last time I thought it better to stick to wine.” She replied, raising her eyebrow at him.

The last time. When he’d been blind drunk and she’d returned him to the tardis. When his stupidity had led to her getting hurt. When they’d kissed. Except no, not really, it had been a plan, not real. That strange feeling almost like disappointment crossed his mind. Shaking his head at her, he stepped back letting her into the tardis. Missy walked in, the way she moved almost like dancing, swanning about like she owned the place, her hand running along the console as she circled it, coming to a stop in front of him.

“Pizza?” she asked.

“This way.” He answered, leading her deeper into the tardis.

If she was surprised they were staying in the tardis she didn’t show it. However her face did betray just a hint of surprise when he opened the door to the room they’d be eating in.

“I didn’t know you did romance.” She said in that flirtatious tone she insisted on using. 

He shrugged. It wasn’t like he’d tried for romance. It wasn’t like this was actually a date. She was calling it that to try and make him uncomfortable, like her comments about seeing under her clothes or getting her into bed, it wasn’t something he took seriously. He was however secretly pleased to hear from her, and wanted to take her somewhere nicer in his tardis than the medical bay, so he’d chosen one of the gardens. He thought she’d like the large deck overhanging the lake. Fields and trees beyond. Nothing in the shade of red, he didn’t think she’d appreciate the reminder of Gallifrey. He watched as she removed her jacket and sat down on the blanket that was laid out.

“That wasn’t me.” He told her indicating towards the blanket.

Missy chuckled “She interfering?” she whispered loudly, pointing to the ceiling.

The tardis hummed musically causing Missy to chuckle again. She seemed so.. for want of a better word, lucid. Calm. Not dashing about hatching some scheme, she just sat leaning back on her hands, looking out across the lake. His mind couldn’t help but flash back to her drug addled words, _Theta_. He removed his own jacket as well before sitting down with her.

“Couldn’t turn up the heat could you dear?” she asked.

Baffled at her odd request he looked up raising an eyebrow. He wasn’t exactly sure when he started looking up when communicating with the tardis, it didn’t make much sense as she was all around, but it had become a habit. Responding to his silent question the tardis intensified the heat coming from the artificial sun. Missy closed her eyes and hummed, seemly pleased at the change in temperature. He watched her as she basked in the fake sunlight.

Their pizza had been eaten in relative silence, a few words exchanged about recent planets they had visited. It turned out Missy had spent the last week on a ice planet, explaining why she had wanted the temperature higher. When he’d questioned her she’d said she needed to defrost. Which was all well and good for her but the increased heat was making him uncomfortable. Eventually he gave in and removed his waistcoat before unbuttoning the buttons of his shirt sleeves and rolling them up to his elbows. He noticed Missy watching him and raised a questioning eyebrow at her. She shook her head nothing before sitting up and picking up the wine bottle. 

“Wine?” she asked. 

He passed her two glasses in response. 

As she poured their drinks she looked at him “If it’s so uncomfortable why do you dress so prim and proper?” 

“Says the one who wears a corset.” He shot back.

“I look good in a corset.” Missy smirked.

“And I don’t?” he asked not really thinking. 

“Look good in a corset? I don’t know dear, I don’t remember the last time I saw you in underwear.” She said her tone low.

His mouth opened and shut a few times, he didn’t know how to respond to that. He knew she was trying to make him uncomfortable and it was working. She leant closer to him to hand him his glass, lingering once he’d taken it. With one hand she reached out and unbuttoned his top button. He swallowed hard as the back of her hand grazed his neck. 

“There.” She said leaning back again and picking up her own glass. 

The Doctor drained half of his glass in one gulp. It was the heat. Nothing to do with how familiar Missy was acting. 

The fake sun continued to burn high in the sky and by the time they had finished the bottle of wine the Doctor’s head was buzzing pleasantly. He should probably feel on edge, being slightly out of control in front of Missy should concern him, he should be worried about her doing something evil. But all he could think about when he looked at her was how this felt so .. normal. Like it was something they had always been doing, and in a way it was just not in centuries. It _had_ been like this though, once upon a time. Was this what life with Missy could be like? 

  
After a while Missy sat up and removed her shoes before standing. It suddenly occurred to the Doctor that it probably wasn’t Earth wine she had brought, which would explain why she stumbled slightly before gaining her balance. He watched in surprise as her hands went up under her long skirt before pulling down a stocking, taking it off leaving one bare foot stood on the deck. Removing the other she left them in a pile with her jacket and sauntered over to the edge of the deck. Hitching her skirt up to her knees she sat down and let her bare feet dangle in the water. He watched from the blanket, amazed at how carefree she seemed. 

It wasn’t long before she looked back over her shoulder at him “Bring the ice cream.” She called. 

He smiled before standing up and grabbing to tub of chocolate ice cream. Walking towards her at sat down with his legs curled beneath him.

“The water’s perfect.” She said, giving him a sideways glance.

The Doctor sighed, he passed her the ice cream and a spoon before taking his own shoes and socks off. Pulling his trousers legs up to his knees he swung his feet into the water. It _was_ perfect. Missy hummed next to him and he looked at her licking chocolate ice cream off of the spoon. She shuffled closer to him, their legs touching now, he noticed her skirt had ridden up as she moved exposing the soft creamy skin of her thighs. No not soft. He had no idea how that skin felt and he had no intention of finding out. None at all.

She dipped the spoon back into the ice cream before holding it out towards him. He gave her a hard stare. He didn’t do this. She returned his glare until he gave in, taking the offered ice cream. It _was_ nice, damn. They sat there with their feet dangling in the cool water with Missy eating the tub of ice cream, occasionally offering him some from her spoon until suddenly the artificial sunlight began to dim. The Doctor scowled as the tardis created a beautiful sunset and Missy cackled with laughter beside him as the water adjusted itself to a luxurious warmth to compensate for the drop in temperature. 

“She’s subtle.” Missy said once she’d finished laughing. Her shoulder bumping against his. 

“We should go swimming.” She said suddenly, her eyes lighting up.

“Oh no you don’t.” He said grabbing her arm before she could launch herself into the lake.

“Why not?” she pouted. 

“You’ll probably drown in all those layers.” He reasoned with her, why was she always so impulsive? 

“Trying to get me naked again dear?” the flirtatious tone was back.

“No. No that’s not what I..” he began before she cut him off.

“Here.” She said quickly unfastening her brooch and handing it to him. “Wouldn’t want to lose it.”

Momentarily distracted he couldn’t stop her as she slipped off the edge of the deck and into the water. 

“Missy!” He shouted as she dived under the water before appearing six feet out.

Her hair had come loose from its pins in her short swim under the water, leaving it swirling around her making her look like some sort of weird victorian water goddess.

“If you’re so worried you better come in too.” She teased, treading water now.

He wasn’t getting in that lake. He wouldn’t swim fully clothed and he most definitely wasn’t getting undressed to do so. So he sat and watched as Missy swam and twirled around in the water. She looked almost childlike, playfully swimming around, almost innocent. But innocent was one thing Missy could never be he had to remember that. No matter how much he wanted her to have changed, she wasn’t innocent.

As if reading his inner thoughts she swam closer and splashed him, proving how childish she could be. He scowled as she smirked at him before breaking out into a grin. He couldn’t help it. He gently tossed her brooch onto the blanket for safe keeping, if she was going to continue splashing him he didn’t want to drop it by accident. He turned back to watch as she continued to swim towards him, bracing himself to be splashed again he didn’t expect her swim right up to the edge of the deck only stopping when she reached his legs, situating herself between them and placing her dripping wet hands on his thighs for support. The warm water soaked through his trousers in seconds. His hearts were pounding in his chest. Why was she so close? He didn’t do close. He didn’t do _this._ He couldn’t..

His thoughts were interrupted as she grabbed him and yanked him into the water with her. He emerged seconds later spluttering as she laughed at him. Her eyes danced and her smile was brilliantly bright. He wanted to be annoyed, wanted to chastise her for acting so childishly but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. She always did bring out that side of him, the side that was more carefree, less worried about his self imposed rules. She splashed him again, gently this time.

His eyes turned dark as he flashed her a grin that told her she’d regret it as she began to swim away from him, laughing as she went. He followed her quickly, easily able to grab her skirts that billowed out in the water and pull her to him. Her arms went around his neck as he pulled her around. He hadn’t planned this far ahead. Hadn’t planned for her to be this close, his hands holding her waist as her legs moved treading water. The tell tale smell of tardis water clung to her skin. She wasn’t moving away. Why wasn’t she moving away? The memory of their kiss in the alley nudging at his conscious. The memory that he definitely didn’t want to repeat. No. No interest in that at all. _Oh to hell with it_ he thought leaning his head down towards her. She responded immediately and he could taste the wine and chocolate lingering on her tongue as her hands tangled in his hair, trusting him to keep them afloat. His arms wrapped tightly around her holding her to him. They broke apart breathless moments later. 

“That seems to keep happening doesn’t it?” Missy whispered.

The Doctor cleared his throat. He could blame it on the wine? She didn’t need to know he couldn’t get her out of his mind, any moment of down time filled with thoughts of how she had changed. And today, this _date_ , it had actually been pleasant, he’d enjoyed her company. She couldn’t stay he told himself, not for the first time. 

“We should get out of these wet clothes.” He said, not thinking about how it sounded until she let out a bark of laughter.

“Not on the first date dear, I’m a Lady.” She smirked her eyes widening in pretend shock. 

“I.. I didn’t mean.. Not like that.” He spluttered, flustered. 

“I know.” She said leaning in and pressing a quick kiss against his lips before swimming back towards the deck. 

They’d walked dripping wet to a room the tardis provided. It wasn’t one he’d seen before but it had a large fire and comfortable chairs with an adjacent bathroom. He let her go in first and waited until she stepped out holding her wet clothes and wearing an oversized fluffy dressing gown. He smirked at her looking so un-Missy-like. 

In the bathroom he stripped out of his own wet clothes and searched for something dry to put on. He refused to put on the matching dressing gown the tardis had clearly put out. The tardis finally relented and allowed him access to the wardrobe where he pulled on some black jeans, a t-shirt and a hoodie. For once not bothering with a full suit. 

Stepping back into the room with Missy he saw her clothes laid out drying in front of the fire. If his eyes lingered for a moment on her corset he would never admit it. 

“Changing your look?” she asked looking up from her seat on the sofa. 

He shrugged “Do you like it?” He asked genuinely curious.

“Mmm it suits you.” She hummed in approval. 

Hours later when she had left the Doctor made his way back to that room and sat in front of the fire. What was he doing? Why did he think kissing Missy was a good idea? More importantly why did he want to do it again? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed the fluff! It's about time. 
> 
> If you’re reading this the day it comes out I wish you a happy new year. Writing has helped me stay sane in this s**t show of a year and I thank every one of you who takes the time to read x


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor sends Missy his confession dial and she tries desperately to find him. 
> 
> AU for The Magicians Apprentice and The Witch's Familiar

When she’d received his confession dial Missy slowly began to panic. A little at first, he could just be acting dramatic, he did have a flair for that, but as each search turned up nothing the panic inside her increased. When she had been everywhere she could think of, used every resource and contact she had at her disposal, and still no sign of the Doctor, the panic clawed at her like a wild animal inside her chest. She had to find him, to help him, if there was an enemy he had to face she could help, they could face it together. 

They hadn’t seen each other since the day of their _date_ but Missy had taken to leaving stupid voicemails on the tardis answering machine. She hadn’t given the fact he hadn’t responded much thought but maybe she should have? 

Eventually after a month of searching she decided to use UNIT. She didn’t really want to let them know she had survived at the graveyard but needs must, they had resources and technology locked down in their vault that would allow her to find the Doctor. She needed to find him, she felt like they had grown closer than they had been in eons, she couldn’t lose him now. That day in the tardis she had seen a side of him she hadn’t seen since they were at the academy. She wouldn’t let that go. They’d talked and laughed and had fun. Actual fun together! She’d been teasing him when she’d proposed a date never expecting him to actually agree. Not that either of them had actually looked at it as a date in the human sense of the word. Well she hadn’t until he’d kissed her. But that didn’t matter right now what mattered was finding him. That’s why she was sat in a courtyard with none other than that stupid girl, how she wished she hadn’t set them up together. And she had the audacity to question their friendship! When she was the reason that Clara had even met the Doctor in the first place! The reason he’d stayed with her when he’d regenerated from the bumbling bowtie to her grumpy Scotsman. 

“You’re the puppy.” Missy spat, letting the girl know just how inconsequential she was.

“Since when do you care about the Doctor?” Clara responded.

“Since always. Since the academy. Since the Cloister Wars. Since the night he stole the moon and the President's wife. Since he was a little girl. One of those was a lie. Can you guess which one?” If Missy didn’t need her right now she’d kill the girl on the spot. 

“He's not your friend. You keep trying to kill him.” Oh naive little Clara. 

“He keeps trying to kill me. It's sort of our texting. We've been at it for ages.” Missy replied with a smirk.

“Mmm. Must be love.” Clara said rolling her eyes. 

Oh how that girl infuriated her. She had no idea. Missy ranted at her, their friendship was more than she could ever comprehend. It was older than Clara’s entire civilisation and infinitely more complex. Love, Missy scoffed at the thought. Because she was panicked at the thought of losing him? Because she couldn’t get him out of her mind? Because she kept thinking of how his lips had felt against hers? How he’d clutched her close. That wasn’t love. Their friendship was just .. complicated.

  
It hadn’t taken UNIT's techs back at the lab long to pinpoint the Doctor. Medieval Essex of all places. Missy had slapped her spare vortex manipulator on Clara’s wrist and taken her along for the ride, you never knew when you’d need a sacrifice. They landed at the top of the stands of some sort of arena, as they began to discuss how to find the Doctor there he came. Riding into the arena on a tank playing an electric guitar. Not a care in the world about reeking havoc with history. Missy would have liked this version of him, carefree and reckless, if he hadn’t of been acting so out of character. Like he was so certain he was going to die nothing mattered anymore. Then he was looking straight at them, the song he was playing changed and Clara swooned like it was all for her before running down towards him. Missy stayed up high watching him, she knew the song of course she wasn’t completely ignorant to Earth’s music, she felt his eyes on her as he played it, ‘pretty woman’. What was he playing at? Seconds later he was prancing around again playing the fool for the crowd until he told them he would be leaving, they groaned in disappointment, before telling them he would like them to meet a couple of friends of his. At this he lowered his sunglasses and looked at her, just at her, and she couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face. He’d called her his friend. It was the first time he’d said it, admitted they were anything more than enemies. 

Missy walked down the steps that led to the arena, waiting out of the way underneath the stands for the Doctor to finish whatever it was he was doing here. Clara was stood a few metres away basically in the arena with him, the Doctor said something quietly to her as he walked past, coming towards the spot where Missy stood. When he reached her he stepped in close, backing her up against the wall of the stands, almost caging her in with his body, one hand resting on the wall beside her. Her breath caught for a moment.

“Why did you bring Clara here?” he asked keeping his voice low.

“I needed to find you. You sent me your confession dial and disappeared what did you expect me to do?” she replied honestly, of course she had to find him any way she could.

The Doctor paused, his head tilted slightly as though he were considering his words very carefully.

“You were worried?” he asked eventually.

Before Missy could reply Clara’s voice butted in “Well you did say you were best friends but I didn’t expect to see you so cosy.” The angry tone of her voice not going unnoticed by either of them. 

The Doctor squeezed his eyes shut for a moment before pulling back from Missy and turning to speak to Clara. It impulsively crossed Missy’s mind to pull him back towards her and kiss him. To really shock the girl. To prove her wrong, to show her that their friendship was more than Clara could ever hope for with the Doctor, to show her that she was just the stupid puppy. 

Instead she called out “I see you kept the new look.” 

She smirked as Clara began questioning him. The Doctor shot her a glare over Clara’s shoulder, Missy only mouthed oops at him in response, a mock look of shock on her face.

  
In hindsight it had been going okay until the moment she realised they were on Skaro. Her and the Doctor had been communicating, had been working together, yes Clara was there too but it wasn’t too awful having the puppy around, she did prove useful occasionally. Pushing her down a hole for example. Or putting her inside of that dalek. Which really was a genius plan, funny as well. Something inside Missy had changed when she’d realised where they were, Skaro, the Doctor had felt it too surely? The sheer panic that flooded her entire body almost incapacitating her. Realising what they were up against, Davros was one thing, the whole of Skaro was another thing completely. She had to be ruthless, nothing else mattered except getting herself and the Doctor out of here alive. The puppy.. well she was just collateral damage. 

She should of realised that the Doctor was emotionally attached to the girl. She should have remembered his actions in the graveyard, he’d been willing to shoot her to save the girls soul after all. She just thought, stupidly, that after everything that had happened between them since that he might have been attached to her too. Stupid. So stupid she had been to believe he could actually care about her. She’d expected him to be angry that she’d put Clara in the dalek, and maybe encouraging him to kill her was a slight miscalculation on her part, but she hadn’t expected him to abandon her. On Skaro!

“Run.” He’d told her like she was scared of him.

She’d seen him at his worst. Time and time again, did he really think she would be scared of him? Did he want her to be?

“It wasn’t me who ran, Doctor. That was always you.” She’d said walking slowly away. 

  
It wasn’t long before she started running though. The building beginning to collapse around her. Missy didn’t like to admit it but she was scared. She didn’t want to be stuck here. Not on Skaro she couldn’t be stuck on Skaro. Her hearts were hammering as she ran around a corner and came face to face with a dalek. Her brooch was lost earlier so that was of no use to her, besides with the power boost the Doctor had given them that plan wouldn’t have worked again. That loss stung. She’d kept that brooch safe for longer than she cared to remember and now it was being left to rot in the sewers of Skaro. Suddenly the one dalek became many as she was surrounded. She spun around on the spot trying to think of a way out when she felt it. The air went thick, the pressure changing around her and she felt the hum in her mind of a tardis, more specifically the Doctor’s tardis. Relief spread through her and she sagged against the doors as they materialised around her. 

Missy tried to calm the beating of her hearts, her rapid breathing, the tears of relief that he had come back for her. She opened her eyes and saw him standing at the console. Then the anger hit. Why did he tell her to run away? Why did he pretend he was going to leave her here? 

“Guilty conscience?” she asked “How long did you run away for before you decided to come back for me?”

“You tried to get me to kill Clara!” he shouted at her.

“So what?!” Missy spat why did he care so much about that stupid girl. 

“So what?! She’s my friend Missy!” he shouted back.

“Oh of course she's your friend! And what am I then? Just someone you find when you need to get your kicks and your thrills? Not good enough to be classed as your friend and god forbid poor little Clara gets hurt! She wasn’t the one trying to find you I was! I was the one trying to save you and you just tell me to run! Off you go and enjoy Skaro Missy until I bother to come and get you? What is wrong with you? I’m supposed to be the villain here but you! Oh I take my crown off to you Doctor, I crown thee the new Queen of Evil.” She finished with a low curtsy.

Her hate filled words seemed to shock him. He paused, the anger leaving his eyes as she kneeled in front of him, ironically similar to their position in the graveyard. 

“I didn’t know what she’d do to you.” He told her quietly.

Ah so little Miss Clara wasn’t so nice. 

“I thought you were going to leave me there, to rot on Skaro.” She said, the venom leaving her voice, the fear she had felt creeping back in.

“I couldn’t do that to you.” He replied quietly.

He was standing in front of her then, his hand extended to help her to her feet. She hesitated before taking it. She hated herself for taking comfort in the feel of his skin against hers. He looked almost sad. 

“But you’re right. I shouldn’t just find you to get my.. kicks, I don’t think we should see each other again. At least not for a while.” Why did his face look like that?

Being told she was right usually made Missy happy but this hurt. It hurt badly. One stupid mistake with the girl and everything was ruined. He’d called her his friend, in that arena he’d announced to everyone that she was his friend. They’d been getting along. What about the lake? She wanted to ask. That had felt different. Why did she have to make that stupid comment about using her to get his kicks, it wasn’t like that she knew it wasn’t and even if it was she’d take it, if it meant feeling like his friend again. 

“Don’t.” He said gently, almost pleading.

She hadn’t realised “I don’t even know why I’m crying.” She lied.

She knew exactly why she was crying. 

“Probably part of some plan.” he said sadly.

“Yeah that sounds about right.” She replied trying to stop the tears that kept falling no matter how hard she willed them not to.

He turned his back on her and walked towards the console.

“Where do you want me to drop you?” he asked without looking at her.

Missy felt the sad hum of the tardis, was it mirroring her or him? His shoulders were hunched as he looked down at the console. Surely he wasn’t sad too. If it was hurting him so much why was he making her leave? She didn’t want to be dropped anywhere. She wanted this whole trip to not have happened. She wanted to go back to their pizza at the lake. Everything had gone to hell the moment they’d set foot on Skaro, that cursed planet. 

“Oh find me somewhere fun.” She told him.

What else was she supposed to say? Let me stay? Leave the girl I’ll travel with you? He never would. She didn’t mean anything to him. Not friends, less than enemies, nothing. It had been better when he’d hated her, when they’d been enemies at least he’d felt something for her. Better than this empty nothingness. The tardis groaned to life as he put in some coordinates before screeching to a stop moments later. He didn’t turn around. Missy wished he would. But then again he’d told her he didn’t want to see her. It was probably for the best she didn’t see his face. She turned towards the doors and placed a hand on one ready to push it open.

“Thank you for coming back for me.” She said quietly, her voice cracking as she spoke, before exiting the tardis. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last time we had fluff now we have much angst.
> 
> I'm sorry okay, it was just never going to be that easy for these two. Writing this hurt me too.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can Missy and the Doctor reconcile after their falling out after Skaro?

The Doctor felt his psychic paper inside his pocket, he sighed, that was the third time today alone. It had started about a week after Skaro. He would receive messages, sets of coordinates, all signed with a looping capital letter M. He would recognise that handwriting anywhere even if he hadn’t known it was her. Missy. He’d felt guilty about leaving her he really had but it’s not like he could have had her and Clara in the tardis at the same time and he knew Missy could handle herself, besides he was angry, she’d trapped Clara inside a dalek and tried to get him to shoot her, it’s not like he wasn’t going to come back for her he just needed to get Clara home first, a little hop back in time and he was back just moments after he’d left. Missy hadn’t taken it well of course. She was right though, he couldn’t keep seeking her out for his ... kicks and thrills as she’d called it. He knew she was referring to the kisses they kept sharing which were mostly his fault. It wasn’t like he had planned it but when they were together and close and... it was like he couldn’t help himself. That was why he’d told her it had to stop. His resolve had almost broken when she’d started crying. Even the tardis had hummed sadly. 

So far he’d managed to ignore all of her messages. He had been trying to keep busy, and between haunted underwater bases and the Fisher King he’d been doing a pretty good job of it. His and Clara’s current outing wasn’t quite so life and death though and she was currently giving him a sideways glare. 

“What?” he asked, fed up of her staring at him. 

“That’s the third time today you’ve pulled out that psychic paper.” She said.

“It receives messages.” He explained, hoping that would be the end of it. 

It wasn’t of course. 

“Someone must _really_ want to get hold of you.” She said as she tried to take a peek at the psychic paper.

He held the paper closer to himself and frowned at her.

“Oh is it a secret?” she asked with a laugh and plucked the psychic paper from his hand.

“Hey weren’t you ever taught it’s rude to snatch.” He scolded, grabbing it back and placing it safely inside his jacket pocket.

“Since when do you care about being rude? And who is M and why don’t you want to help them?” she asked, not phased by his scolding tone.

“What do you mean why won’t I help them?” he asked confused.

“You’re the Doctor. I just assumed if someone is trying to contact you it’s got to be a distress call or something.” Clara replied with a shrug.

A distress call. Why hadn’t he even thought of that? What if Missy wasn’t just trying to get him to change his mind? What if there really was a problem? What if she was in trouble? Needed his help.

“I have to go.” He announced suddenly.

“What? We’ve only just got here.” She asked confused, sounding put out. 

“You’re right. I can’t just ignore a distress call.” He spoke quickly.

“Well I’ll come with you then.” Clara said.

“No. No best not. I’m not even sure what I’ll be walking into.” He tried to convince her.

“All the more reason for you to have back up.” She argued.

“Really Clara I think it’s best you just go home. I can nip back in time and pick you up again in an hour. How does that sound?” he was almost pleading with her now.

At that she shrugged “Fine. Just remember the correct date this time.” She said as she sauntered back towards the tardis. 

  
A quick trip to drop Clara home later and the Doctor was running around the console rushing to put in the most recent coordinates Missy had sent him. As soon as the tardis groaned to a stop he was at the doors pushing them open and stepping out into the bright sunlight. 

He blinked and looked around. There wasn’t any signs of trouble, no screaming, no fighting, nothing obvious anyway. He spotted Missy quickly. She was sat on a bench, her back to him, as she looked out over a large lake. Where were they anyway? The Doctor took in a deep breath. The Scottish Highlands. Inverness to be more precise. Ah not a lake, a Loch.

“I’m looking for Nessie.” Missy’s voice called out in a Scottish twang.

“I’ve always wondered if the rumours were true.” He said sitting down beside her. “I saw a dinosaur in the Thames once so you never know.”

“I know dear I was there.” She answered without looking at him.

He’d known Missy had been the one manipulating him and Clara into travelling together but hearing Missy say it so casually was still a shock. She’d worked so hard to put them together, to keep them together, what happened on Skaro just didn’t make sense. Why would she want to get rid of Clara now? What was different? It was almost as though she were jealous but that didn’t make sense? What would she have to be jealous about? 

“There’s no emergency then?” he asked lamely.

“Does there have to be an emergency?” she retorted.

She still hadn’t looked at him. Hadn’t turned her attention away from the Loch. 

“No. No..” he trailed off shaking his head.

“That’s the only possible reason I could have for contacting you? Is that really all you could come up with?” she asked.

Why wouldn’t she look at him?

“I didn’t know.. I..” he began as she cut him off.

“Well I guess it’s sweet of you to come running when you thought I was in trouble dear but really did that thought only just cross your mind? I’ve been sending you messages for weeks, I could have been dead ten times over by now.” He could hear the smirk in her voice.

At least she wasn’t still angry at him for abandoning her.

“What did you want then?” he asked.

“Oh I don’t know. Afternoon tea in Edinburgh? Crumpets in Taiwan? Or we could go somewhere more exotic, Chinese on Saturn? The rings are delightful this time of year.” She still stared resolutely ahead despite her light tone.

“What are you talking about Missy?” he didn’t understand.

“Dinner. Or breakfast. Whatever you like really, perks of time travel.” She replied. “I thought we did that now?”

“You want to go to dinner? After everything that happened on Skaro, _after_ Skaro, you mean to tell me you’ve been repeatedly sending me messages to ask me to go to dinner with you?” he asked incredulously.

She couldn’t be serious.

“Or breakfast.” She responded, her tone infuriatingly carefree.

And she still wouldn’t look at him!

“Missy.” He said, reaching out and touching her arm.

She turned her head to look at him then, her eyes wide and wet with unshed tears. His hearts clenched at the sight and he removed his hand from her arm. Touching her was a bad idea. He was supposed to be staying away from her, that was the point, this was all Clara’s fault for putting the idea that she might be in danger in his head. Now he was here, and she was looking at him with those icy blue eyes that had no right to pierce his hearts the way they did. More emotion than he thought possible shining through and all he wanted to do was stop the tears that threatened to fall. To do anything to take away her pain. 

“What did you think one little fight and all of a sudden we’re not on talking terms? We’ve been enemies for centuries, that was nothing.” she said briskly.

“I’m not your enemy.” The Doctor whispered. 

“Well we’re certainly not friends you’ve made that abundantly clear.” She snapped, her carefree air slipping for a moment.

“You’re my oldest friend in the universe.” he told her honestly.

“Well then there’s absolutely no reason we can’t go to dinner together. Just two old but still radiantly beautiful, me not you,” she shot him a look “friends catching up over a meal.” 

“Missy,” he started slowly.

“Look I promise I won’t try and kill anymore of your little friends okay.” Her tone returning to carefree one she had been using this whole time as she turned back to look out over the Loch.

“Well good. That’s good. But that wasn’t the point, that’s not the reason I should stay away from you.” He answered.

“Am I that incomprehensibly evil that being in my mere presence will taint your soul?” she shot back glaring at him. “Just because you managed to bring Gallifrey back doesn’t mean you’re not just as tainted by death as I am.” 

And with that she pressed the vortex manipulator on her wrist and blinked out of existence. The Doctor sighed. That wasn’t it at all. He had to keep away from her _because_ she was hard to resist, that was the problem with hope after all. And he hoped with every fibre of his being that Missy was different this time. That she truly wanted to be friends, no plans, no plots, no schemes, just friends. He couldn’t trust himself to be around her and not give in to that hope. 

  
He sat a while longer before returning to the tardis and setting course back to Clara. She was sat on the sofa in her flat when he arrived forty-five minutes after he’d left her. She looked at her watch when he exited the tardis.

“Fifteen minutes early, must be a new record. So how did it go with your girlfriend?” she asked as she jumped to her feet.

He felt the blood rush to his cheeks as he began to stutter “What.. I .. er..”

“Oh my god are you blushing?! Tell me you’re not blushing. I was joking! Doctor was that really your girlfriend ?” she teased.

“I’m a Time Lord Clara we don’t do boyfriends and girlfriends.” He said regaining his composure.

“Yeah so I’ve heard.” She muttered. “Well shall we be off then?” she said louder, walking towards the tardis.

It was the whole mess with Ashildr that eventually changed his mind. It was like he’d told Clara, immortality was just everyone else dying and sometimes, just sometimes, you found someone you couldn’t bear to lose. He picked up the tardis phone and reverse dialled the number Missy had used to leave all those voicemails. She picked up on the fourth ring.

“Well, well this is a surprise.” She said as a way of greeting.

“Don’t talk just listen. I was angry over the cybermen, and lying about Gallifrey, and what happened on Skaro but every time I still hoped. I hoped you were being honest, that you wanted to be friends. I said we shouldn’t see each other because of me, that hope, it’s so very hard to resist. _You_ are so very hard to resist. I think more than anything else in the universe I want us to be friends again, like we used to be, and that scares me. Oh Missy it scares the hell out of me.” The Doctor admitted.

He once again felt the subtle hum of the psychic paper, pulling it out he read a line of coordinates followed, as always, by an M. 

“Get some rest, you sound like you need it. Then meet me there.” She told him, her voice almost uncharacteristically soft. 

“Dinner?” he asked.

“We’ll see, just wear something nice. Now go to sleep Doctor.” She said before hanging up the phone.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor has given in to needing to see Missy but that's all, nothing else.

The Ritz, _no wonder she said wear something nice_ the Doctor thought as he stepped out of his tardis into central London. He sauntered into the building only to be stopped by the front of house. “Doctor Smith.” he informed them confidently, it was always best to be confident about these things.

“Ah yes Doctor Smith, Mistress Smith is already waiting for you.” The woman said with a strained smile.

The Doctor rolled his eyes as a waiter came and led him to Missy’s table, Mistress Smith indeed.

Missy was sipping tea from a dainty china cup when he sat down. The room was extravagant and gaudy and gold, quite frankly awful he had no idea why Missy wanted to come here. He inclined his head towards her in way of greeting.

“It’s not how they describe it in the book.” She said sounding annoyed.

“What’s that?” he asked helping himself to some tea.

“This.” She said waving her arms around. 

“The Ritz?” he asked confused.

“Yes! I didn’t think it’d be so bleurgh.” She said making a face.

The Doctor chuckled.

“What book was it Missy?” he asked.

“Well I just finished this book Good Omens, Earth rubbish you’d love it, but I was bored so I gave it a quick glance and they went on and on about this place but.” Missy wrinkled her nose and shook her head.

“But it’s not what you expected.” He supplied.

“No.” She huffed as the waiter brought them over an afternoon tea consisting of small sandwiches, scones and tiny cakes. 

Missy glared at him as he walked away. 

“Why don’t you tell me about this book?” the Doctor asked, intrigued at what had captured Missy’s attention. 

Picking at a strawberry cake she began to give him a synopsis of the book.

“So it’s about an angel and a demon?” he asked once she’d finished.

She nodded, popping another miniature cake in her mouth.

“And in this scenario which one am I?” he continued.

Missy smiled widely at him, apparently pleased he had picked up on the fact she was trying to recreate a part of this book.

“You’re the angel of course. The demon is just devilishly sexy and therefore _must_ be me.” She almost purred. 

He didn’t rise to her blatant attempt to ruffle him. 

“I may be on the side of the angels, but don’t think for one second that I am one of them.” He quoted.

“Oh feeling dark today are we mister Doyle?” she teased. “I like it.” 

“Not particularly,” he said picking up a small sandwich and giving it a sniff “I just don’t see myself as much of an angel.” He said before putting the sandwich whole into his mouth.

“Oh?” She asked staring at him intently “Drawn to the darkness too much?”

He tilted his head as he swallowed his mouthful “Something like that.” He said, his eyes lingering on Missy’s.

  
They ate in silence for a while after that. Missy absentmindedly fiddling with her collar. It took longer than it should have for him to realise what was missing. Her brooch. The one he had given her all those years ago, the one she had somehow managed to keep safe over lifetimes, it was gone. She must have noticed him staring.

“I lost it in the sewers on Skaro.” She told him.

“I’m sorry.” He replied.

“Don’t be, it can’t be helped and it’s not like either of us are going back for it.” Only her eyes betrayed a hint of hurt. 

“I never would have left you there you have to believe that, I had to get Clara out and I knew you could look after yourself.” He explained.

Missy just scoffed.

“Really. You’re so much smarter than me you would have thought of something, some way to stay safe. You don’t need me, you’re strong, you always have been.” He continued.

He knew it wasn’t right complimenting her to gain her forgiveness but it wasn’t like he was lying, she was strong and smart and most definitely didn’t need him.

“I always need you.” Her voice so quiet he barely heard her. “I didn’t feel very strong, just before you arrived when I was surrounded by daleks with no way out.”  
  
The Doctor knew he shouldn’t do it even as his hand reached out and took hers. He once again marvelled at the softness of her skin as he gently cupped her hand on the table. 

“I understand.” He said, he had felt the same way when he’d realised they were on the rebuilt Skaro. 

“You do?” She asked looking at him hopefully.

“We’ve both had enough dealings with the daleks to last a thousand lifetimes.” He told her as he squeezed her hand.

She squeezed back and gave him a small smile. They were interrupted by the waiter returning to take away their plates, the Doctor quickly withdrew his hand. He was only making it harder for himself.

“So does Clara know you’re here? With me I mean.” Missy asked once they were alone again.

He shifted in his seat and she smirked at him.

“No of course not. Am I your dirty little secret?” she continued somehow making her comment sound flirtatious.

Missy knew he couldn’t tell Clara about this. She would be so hurt that he continued to see Missy, she’d been upset enough about her still being alive after the graveyard let alone him still seeing her after Skaro. This had to be a secret. Clara would never understand how he felt about Missy, he didn’t even really understand himself.

“It’s not like that.” He started, as she began laughing.

“Don’t worry dear I don’t care. What’s that saying? What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Well consider me Vegas.” She told him.

He wasn’t sure he liked that idea. The idea of being able to do anything here with Missy and it not affecting his ‘real’ life. That was a very dangerous idea. 

So he changed the subject, avoiding her statement completely. “So tell me more about this book. You say the angel and the demon are friends?” he asked, not missing the parallels she was drawing between them.

“Yes.” She replied “Since the beginning of time.”

  
When they left the Ritz they took a walk through London towards St James’s Park. He was glad to be out in the fresh air after the overpowering atmosphere of the restaurant even if Missy insisted on threading her arm through his as they walked. She led him to a specific bench in the park that over looked St James’s Park lake, another classic scene from her book apparently. 

“This seems to be a bit of a running theme with us.” He said gesturing to the lake. 

First the lake in his tardis, then Loch Ness, and now they found themselves looking out across another body of water. He couldn’t stop his mind drifting back to their day inside the tardis. To how much he’d enjoyed spending time together. He’d enjoyed today as well, there was something about Missy when she wasn’t busy hatching some plan that reminded him so much of the friend he used to have. They had never planned to go off rescuing the stars or destroying them they had only ever wanted to see them. 

She chuckled softly “We can jump in and start snogging if you like.” She said with a smirk and a sideways glance.

Her tone was joking but he knew that if he agreed she’d drag him into that lake heritage site or not just for the fun of it, that’s who she was. But he’d promised himself that they wouldn’t do that, that _he_ wouldn’t do that again. Kissing her was too intoxicating, it was too dangerous. He’d given in to needing to see her but he couldn’t kiss her again.

“Probably not for the best.” He said without looking at her.

“Quite right.” She replied.

He snuck a glance at her face and hated the hurt he saw there. Why did he keep hurting her? He’d seen her hurt and crying more in these past months than he had in their entire lifetimes. What did that say about him? He knew what it said about her, she was different, she had to be. 

“We wouldn’t want to upset the locals now would we.” He joked nudging her gently with his shoulder, trying soothe the hurt she felt.

He left not long after, retreating to the safety of the tardis. He didn’t tell her he’d see her again, or that he’d had a nice time, but he wanted to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slight delay in getting this chapter up everyone. 
> 
> The books referenced by the Doctor and Missy are Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman. As well as Sherlock Holmes by Arthur Conan Doyle. Although I must admit the Doctor’s quote was from the TV version Sherlock by Stephen Moffat and Mark Gates. I'm sure most of you already know of these books/shows but if not check them out they're great 😉


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Missy and the Doctor continue with their attempts at friendship, that is until he gives her a gift.

Missy had gone back to her room at the Ritz after the Doctor had left St James’s Park. The hotel was just as extravagant as the restaurant, she didn’t love it but she did like feeling like royalty, so she stayed a few days longer. She’d slipped her copy of Good Omens into the Doctor’s pocket before he’d left, it would be interesting to see if he actually read it. She’d actually quite enjoyed it, for a twentieth century Earth novel of course. The actual locations were quite the disappointment but still she’d had fun with the Doctor. It was always nice knowing something he didn’t and re-enacting some of the scenes was enjoyable, especially as the parallels between the book and their own story didn’t go unnoticed by him. It was still a strange concept though, fun with the Doctor. They’d spent so long being enemies it still felt odd, it was what she wanted, to be friends, but in reality it did feel slightly strange. She didn’t have to plot and scheme she just messaged him and they’d meet, they’d talk, they’d laugh. 

  
The next time they met was in Paris, she was trying to be ironic after their conversation on board the Boat One plane about collateral damage. She didn’t spend her time in between on Earth, she had her own life, her own plans, but she knew he had a soft spot for the planet so that’s where she chose for their .. meetings. He didn’t seem to get the irony though and got all flustered for a moment. She didn’t really see anything particularly romantic about the place but the connotation made him blush so she went with it, any excuse to tease him. Half way through their coffee and crepes he produced her book. 

“Ah did you like it?” she asked.

“It was an interesting read, I particularly enjoyed your notes.” He replied handing her the book.

She smirked. She had written tiny annotations in the margins on parts she’d thought he’d enjoy, or that reminded her of either one of them.

“Reminded me of your school books.” He continued with a smirk of his own.

She couldn’t help but laugh, he always had tried to copy from her school books. 

  
The time after that had been Finland. She’d wanted to go skiing but he’d flat out refused so they’d stayed in a ski lodge instead. She hadn’t told him the cabin they were in was the one she was staying in, rather letting him think whatever it was he thought, he didn’t really seem to have much of a clue about how things worked on Earth even though it was his self proclaimed favourite planet. As much as skiing would have been more fun there was something to be said for sitting together in front of a roaring fire while snow drifted lazily down outside. 

There was a moment where their hands brushed briefly and she thought he was going to have a stroke. She didn’t know quite what had happened but he seemed determined to keep at least a little distance between them. Not that she massively minded she wanted her friend not a bed buddy, but still her mind drifted to their kiss in the tardis. The only one that really counted, where no one was planning or proving a point or anything else, their kiss in the lake was because he’d wanted to. Yes they had been drinking but that wasn’t the only reason he’d done it she was almost certain. The way he had clutched hold of her, she was almost certain it was because he’d wanted her. 

  
It was as he was by the tardis doors about to leave he began hovering about looking awkward.

“What’s wrong with you?” she asked.

“Here.” He said as he pulled something out of his pocket and shoved it into her hand.

He turned quickly and pushed his way into the tardis. Missy wasn’t far behind once she’d looked at what he’d placed in her hand. She followed him inside and cut off his protests by holding out her hand, the golden necklace he’d given her hanging from her fingers.

“What’s this?” she demanded.

“Nothing, just a necklace. Picked it up at a market, thought you might want it.” He replied looking ridiculously uncomfortable.

Missy advanced on him. “What are you doing?” she asked suspiciously.

He shrugged not meeting her eye “I know it can never be replaced.. your brooch. It was a stupid idea really I can just...” he made to grab for the necklace hanging from her hand. 

She yanked it out of his reach.

“Don’t even try it.” She hissed.

She slowly moved until she was directly in front of him and turned around, her hearts were hammering fast. She held out the necklace, for once hoping he’d take the hint. He took it and she could hear the small click as he opened the clasp. Every minute noise sounded deafeningly loud. She could feel his breath on her skin as his hands went around her to place the necklace on her. His fingertips sent shivers through her as they brushed against her neck as he refastened the clasp. Her breathing sped up as he stayed stood right behind her for a moment too long. She didn’t know how to say thank you, how to express her gratitude for this. This gesture that meant more than he could ever say. 

Missy turned and found him still right there. She reached up and cupped his face, pulling his head down towards her she placed a gentle kiss on his forehead before resting her own against his. Telepathy wasn’t something she really did anymore, not after what they did to her on Gallifrey, mental manipulation and torture had lost its appeal once she’d been on the receiving end but this wasn’t torture it was gratitude. She let the feelings she could never put into words flow from her mind into his. He stiffened at first before taking hold of her hips. Missy had her eyes closed but she could feel his rapid breathing, could hear the pounding of his hearts. She broke the connection after a few moments and opened her eyes to look at him. And what a sight he was. Her hands slid from his face and came to rest on his chest above his hearts, which she could still feel beating quickly. His pupils were blown wide, his lips dry from his rapid breathing, his fingers dug into her hips almost painfully. For one fleeting moment she wondered if having a bed buddy would be the worst thing in the world. 

His lips crashed against hers almost unexpectedly his tongue demanding access into her mouth. His hands slid down from her hips and wrapped around her thighs lifting her from the ground. Her skirts bunched up as she wrapped her legs around his waist. He spun them around and pushed her back against the console. The tardis made a loud hum that sounded half annoyed and half amused. Then almost as suddenly as it had started it was over. He was pulling away, stepping backwards looking at her with something like horror on his face. Missy just stayed there, perched up on the edge of the console, her legs spread wide where he had stood not seconds ago, her skirts pushed up, her black stockings exposed. Her hearts were thundering so loud she could barely think, her chest rose and fell rapidly as she tried to catch her breath. 

“I’m sorry.” He said rubbing his face with his hands. 

Missy didn’t understand. They were friends, probably, possibly, almost. They enjoyed each others company. He clearly enjoyed kissing her this was the third kiss he’d initiated. That wasn’t exactly a traditional aspect of friendship but when were they ever traditional. It wasn’t as though she had a problem with him kissing her, it was always fun when he lost control, loosened up a bit. 

“I.. I shouldn’t have done that.” He said as he eyes roamed over her, still perched on his console.

What he did and what he said didn’t make sense. They didn’t match up. What was he working so hard to control?

“Look I’m glad you like the necklace but can you please go now.” He sounded desperate, almost pleading with her. 

What would happen if that control snapped? 

She wanted to make some sort of joke, to tease him, to fluster him, but she couldn’t. She could see by the way he twitched that he was close to the edge, she didn’t want to be the one to push him over. Well ..she really did but not today, not now. His eyes never left her as she made a show of getting down and adjusting her skirts, a girl still needed _some_ fun after all. She walked purposely close to him on her way to the doors, pausing right beside him and standing on tip toe to whisper in his ear. “Thank you.” Before pressing a wet kiss in the same spot. She smirked as she walked out of the tardis at the shiver she had caused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is actually possibly my favourite chapter and it wasn't even a part of my original plan so I really hope you enjoy it! 
> 
> As some of you may have spotted this is chapter 11 of 16. Yes I have finally brought myself to write the ending. I'll be keeping up with the weekly updates as it gives me a chance to do a final edit on each chapter before it goes up. Thank you all so much for all the love on this story ❤


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After their kiss the Doctor tries to avoid Missy. When they do finally see each other he finds out she has been neglecting to take care of herself properly again.

The Doctor hadn’t responded to Missy’s messages for almost a month. She clearly didn’t seem phased by what had happened between them she was still sending him regular coordinates but he just couldn’t face her. He’d been doing fine, he’d ignored her teasing and obviously flirtatious tone, her closeness, but when he’d felt her mind brush against his something inside him had crumbled. Now all he could see when he thought of Missy was her pushed up on his console, chest heaving and legs spread, her skirts pushed high enough for him to see the straps that clipped to her stockings. The stockings that were topped with a delicate black lace that seemed so out of place with thoughts of Missy but looked so right wrapped around her thighs. He shook his head. This needed to stop. They were supposed to be friends.

Months ago he’d told Clara that Time Lords didn’t do boyfriends and girlfriends. That wasn’t strictly true. It wasn’t proper for Time Lords to date in the human sense of the word. Marriages were arranged more often than not and children were born from the loom. Friendship and companionship were what you needed in a partner, an intellectual equal. Any sort of dabbling into the physical pleasures was frowned upon. A mental connection was praised above all else. But that didn’t mean there wasn’t.. dating. As a young Time Lord at the academy he’d dabbled in the physical, Koschei always happy to help him break the unwritten rules of their society. It wasn’t like he was a Saint nowadays either, River sprung to mind, but kissing Missy was different. She was a Time Lady she understood, surely she understood that it was different.

The tardis phone rang shaking him out of his stupor. He answered it.

“Look are you going to bother showing up or not? I’ve been here three weeks and I’m getting rather bored.” Missy’s voice spoke into his ear before he could say anything.

“I’m a bit busy right now Missy.” He said keeping his voice steady. 

“I don’t care! You’ve got a time machine you have no excuse for standing me up!” her voice raising “I’m waiting ten more minutes then I’m going.” 

The phone line clicked as she hung up. She was right of course it wasn’t fair of him to ignore her. 

Exactly eight and a half minutes later he walked out onto a beach to find a disgruntled looking Missy staring at him.

“Do you know just how boring it is here?” she asked.

“Where is here exactly?” he responded looking around.

“Hawaii.” She muttered.

He laughed and she scowled at him.

“What is there to do in Hawaii?” he asked still chuckling.

“After three weeks? Absolutely nothing!” She hissed venomously as she stalked towards the tardis.

He followed close behind and entered the tardis with her, walking over to the console before turning to look at Missy who had slumped herself in an armchair on the upper level. She had her eyes closed and looked absolutely exhausted.

“Have you slept in the last three weeks?’ he asked, his voice carrying across the room. 

“Five I think, but I don’t keep track. Take us somewhere fun dear.” She responded, her eyes still closed.

“Missy.” He scolded “What happened to taking care of yourself?” 

“I always eat when I’m with you.” She said.

“Missy.” His tone lowering.

“Alright. Alright. Yes I eat and sleep when you’re not around. I just haven’t been tired recently that’s all, now,” she paused to yawn “somewhere fun.”

She lifted her head up and cracked an eye open when he didn’t respond. The Doctor glared at her.

“The only place I’m taking you is to bed.” He said sternly “And before you even start, don’t!” as her eyes gleamed mischievously at his words.

She sat up and mimed zipping her mouth shut before walking down to him. Instead of stopping she carried on walking past and deeper into the tardis.

“Hey where are you going?” he half shouted.

She turned around and mimed sleeping. She was so childish sometimes.

“Don’t you have your own bed?” he asked.

She huffed “Do I look like the sort who has my own bed? A nice cosy little set up somewhere? I had a tardis but now I don’t, so no I don’t have my own bed. But if letting me sleep in one of the countless unused bedrooms is too much bother I really don’t know why you brought it up in the first place.” 

The tardis bristled at him. He wasn’t completely sure if it was for considering letting Missy sleep here or considering making her leave. 

“Right, this way then.” He settled on leading her towards one of the unused rooms.

It wasn’t like he could make her leave, she was physically yawning, clearly exhausted, it was safest all round if she just got some rest here. Safest and easiest, or it would be if his meddling tardis would stop switching the rooms around. He glared angrily at the ceiling.

“I think she wants me to use this one.” Missy said in a loud whisper. 

Usually he didn’t mind whatever room the people who came aboard slept in. The tardis preserved the rooms of everyone who stayed and he knew she wouldn’t let someone in another person’s room yet here she was repeatedly showing him the same door. No matter how many turns he took or corridors he went down the same bedroom door kept being presented. His own. 

After the tenth attempt at getting into any other bedroom he gave up and just opened the door. His room, though he didn’t use it often, matched the blue of the tardis exterior and had indented roundels covering the walls, for nostalgias sake he assumed. Two doors on the left wall led one to a bathroom and one to the wardrobe, although his regular favourite clothes for this regeneration were stored in the dark wooden dresser on the far wall. His guitar leant in the corner and on the right wall was the bed. It was a small room, he didn’t have much use for it really, more often than not he dozed off in one of the chairs in the upper level of the console room. On the odd occasion he needed more than a power nap he came here. 

Missy followed him in and neatly placed her shoes by the door before walking towards the bed. She ran her hand over the ornately carved bed frame, it was one of the few objects that he kept from Gallifrey, he knew she would know its origins and wondered if it would make her uncomfortable. She did seem to lack her usual confidence as she perched on the edge, her hand fiddling with the blue covers that were a shade darker than the walls. It was a strangely intimate sight, although nothing intimate was going to happen, he wasn’t used to anyone seeing his private room. 

“Soooo... what do little girls usually do at sleepovers?” she asked looking up at him. 

“This isn’t a sleepover it’s just you, sleeping.” He told her.

“Over. It’s me sleeping .. over. So what do you think tea and biscuits? Are jammie dodgers still your favourite? No custard creams? Or we could go for a real throw back and have some chocolate hobnobs now those were the days.” She said seemingly having recovered from whatever momentarily took her confidence.

There was no way he was getting out of this one so he just sighed and rolled his eyes before heading to the kitchen to get tea and biscuits. The quickest way to get her to rest would be to play along, a quick cup of tea and a biscuit and he could leave her to sleep. 

He almost dropped the tray he was carrying when he re-entered the room. The tea cups clinking together and the teapot spilling a little onto the biscuits.

“Careful dear I don’t want a soggy biscuit.” She playfully scolded him from her spot in the centre of the bed.

“Missy you’ve... changed.” He swallowed as he looked at her. 

“Ah yes, I wasn’t prepared for a sleepover but I didn’t think you’d mind.” She said smirking.

She was trying to get under his skin he knew that, but it was working. She was sat there in _his_ bed wearing a black t-shirt that she’d obviously found in the dresser and to make matters worse a pair of his question mark underpants. She sat there her legs, her sinfully bare legs, crossed. Her hair unpinned and hanging in wild curls down her back, all capped off with that flirtatious smirk that drove him insane. He took a deep breath and closed him eyes for a moment.

“Nope, don’t mind at all.” He said shaking his head “I made chamomile, to help you _sleep_.” He placed the tray on the bed in front of her. 

“Right,” she said clapping her hands together “Get your jammies on and we’ll get this sleepover started.” 

“This isn’t actually a sleepover over I don’t need pyjamas.” He replied.

“Well you’re not sleeping naked so if I were you I’d go and find some.” She said while folding her arms. 

He didn’t know why he gave into her ridiculous ideas. It was easier than fighting her on something so trivial but really why did he need to get changed. He didn’t need pyjamas, he didn’t have pyjamas, if he needed to sleep he’d just wear.... well basically what she was wearing and there was no way he was walking back out there in his boxer shorts. No. Way. He grumbled to himself as he pulled on a pair of black joggers and removed his jacket. That would do.

“Lose the hoodie.” Missy said without even looking up from her biscuit, as he stepped back into the bedroom. “What?” she asked when she saw the glare he was giving her “No one sleeps wearing a hoodie.” 

“You are absolutely impossible you know that.” He sulked as he unzipped the hoodie and threw it to the ground. “Happy now?” he asked sarcastically holding his arms out, showing off his joggers and t-shirt combination.

“Incredibly.” She said with a smirk “Tea?”

He sat opposite her on the bed as they sipped chamomile tea from their cups. 

“So,” she said after her fourth biscuit “How long do I have to sleep?” 

“However long you need.” He answered truthfully.

“No I mean surely you need to fly off to Miss Clara soon. Can’t have me asleep in your bed when she gets here.” He expected her to be smirking but the look on her face was something different altogether.

“It’s not like she would know.” He replied frowning. 

Clara didn’t even know he had a bedroom let alone how to find it. He was pretty certain the tardis wouldn’t allow her to find Missy if she did come aboard. Still the thought of the two being in the tardis at the same time unnerved him. Missy needed the rest right now, any plans he had with Clara could wait. 

“Besides it doesn’t matter if I’m on time or not, one of the perks of living in a time travelling box.” He finished with a grin.

“Naughty. Naughty.” She grinned back at him. 

  
It wasn’t long until their tea was finished and Missy had polished off the biscuits. The Doctor stood and picked up the tea tray.

“Right, bed time.” He said and began walking towards the door.

“Stay.” She said quietly.

She couldn’t be serious. She’d couldn’t actually expect him to get into bed with her. 

“It’s a sleepover, I promise I won’t jump on you.” There was no hint of teasing in her voice and that possibly concerned him most. 

He walked over and placed the tea tray on the dresser. A rustling of fabric indicated she had gotten into the bed. This was ridiculous. There was no way he was actually considering this. 

“Aren’t you worried I’ll jump on you?” He asked with his back still to her. 

Missy yawned “If you like dear.” 

He was definitely not getting into bed with her. Except his traitorous body was turning and walking towards the bed. This was a terrible idea. An absolutely Earth shatteringly bad idea. Yet still he was pulling back the covers and laying down. The lighting automatically softening to a dim glow. Completely terrible idea. 

He lay on his back with his eyes closed trying to calm the beating of his hearts. True to her word Missy hadn’t moved an inch, she was curled on her side facing towards him, not saying a word. He wondered if she felt the tension between them the same way he did. For him it was almost palpable, like he could physically feel the space separating them. Since when had it been so hard to keep away from her? This regeneration's body didn’t even particularly like physical touch but with Missy it was like a craving. The years of being taught physical touch was taboo seemingly meaning nothing as he yearned to reach out to her. 

“How do you expect me to sleep when you’re thinking so loud?” Missy whispered in mock seriousness.

Opening his eyes he looked over at her, she lay with her eyes closed, hands up near her face in an almost fetal position. He didn’t have the words to describe how she looked lying there so unguarded. He shifted in the bed to face her, mirroring her pose. Her eyes cracked open and frowned briefly at him before closing again. There was no reason for them to be so close it was only making it more difficult. The Doctor’s mind unable to stop thinking back to the moment when Missy’s mind has caressed his own, that moment when his entire resolve had cracked and crumbled. He could just lean forward right now and their foreheads would be touching, it wouldn’t take much for him to feel the intensity of her mind inside his. 

He hadn’t even realised he’d moved, he must have done so subconsciously, until the walls of her mind were right there. Except they were sort of flickering and cracked like they were barely holding up. He brushed gently against her mind silently requesting access, his breath quickening. Suddenly he was pushed back, mentally and physically, her hand pushing at his chest forcing him away from her. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” she hissed angrily.

But it wasn’t the anger that concerned him, it was the look of pure terror in her eyes that had him gripping hold of the hand pushing on his chest. How could he be so stupid? He knew what they had done to her on Gallifrey.

“It was an accident, I’m so sorry I didn’t think.” He hastily tried to explain.

She tried to pull her hand away but he didn’t let her. He held it tight and brought it to his lips placing kisses on her knuckles. Right and wrong be damned. She needed to know he would never hurt her the way they had. 

“I would never.. not without your permission I swear.” He whispered.

“Then why?” she asked, sounding more hurt than angry now. 

“I was thinking about the last time we saw each other, when your mind touched mine and I must have subconsciously reached out. It’s no excuse. I truly am sorry.” He told her honestly.

“It hurts... when I’m not expecting it.” she whispered, her hand now clasping his in return.

“I’m sorry for what they did to you.” He said reaching out and taking her other hand as well, holding them.

“Collateral damage. Gallifrey came back, I got to live, I just had to deal with the aftermath.” Her eyes were open but she wasn’t seeing him.

“Missy.” He whispered, inching towards her. 

She gasped and stiffened as he pulled her to his chest and began stroking her hair. It took a long time for her to calm down enough to fall asleep. But eventually her breathing evened out and her hearts slowed. He must have fallen asleep too as the next thing he knew she was gripping at his chest, her panicked breathing filling the room. 


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Missy and the Doctor’s 'sleepover' had been going okay until Missy has a nightmare. How will the pair deal with it?

  
She was trapped, pinned down, Missy opened her eyes and saw she was bound to a hospital bed. She heard the click of a door behind her and she strained to see who had entered the room but the lights overhead were too bright, they were blinding. All she could see were shadows moving around her. She gripped the bed beneath her tightly, looking frantically side to side. But she couldn’t see properly, couldn’t hear properly, everything was muffled and confusing until suddenly cold fingers were pressing against her temples. Holding her head tightly still it felt like the fingers themselves were burrowing into her skull, ripping and tearing their way through her mind. 

“Missy.”

She heard her name being called and tore her way back towards consciousness and away from the world of nightmares.

“Missy.” 

She awoke with a panicked inhale of breath. Her fists clenched the soft material she found. Her eyes snapped open to find the Doctor’s stormy blue eyes staring back at her. She felt hot and clammy, breath coming out in deafening gasps, hearts thudding hard in her chest. His lips were moving but she couldn’t hear the sounds coming out. Squeezing her eyes shut she tried to calm her panicking body. This was why she didn’t sleep. 

The Doctor’s hand on her shoulder grounded her. It helped her to focus. He squeezed gently and she opened her eyes. Missy forced her fists to unclench instead laying her palms flat over his hearts, feeling the steady beat of four. The feeling of panic was receding but it was still there looming over her, threatening to overtake her at any moment.

“Touch me.” She breathed into the space between them, not caring how it sounded. She needed to feel something real to keep the nightmares at bay. 

His whole body went ridged. Whether it was because of her request or the fact she spoke to him in Gallifreyan she didn’t know.

“I don’t... I can’t... What do you?... Why?” A stream of half finished thoughts flowed from his mouth.

“My head. The nightmares, they hurt, my head hurts. I just need to feel something, anything, real. Please?” She didn’t remember the last time she’d used their native language, then again she didn’t remember the last time she’d felt this desperate.

And she hated herself for acting so desperately needy. She didn’t need him, she’d be fine, just like always, what she needed was to leave. This was pathetic. She was pathetic. Missy sat up suddenly and pushed the covers back readying herself to leave when he grabbed hold of her arm. 

“Don’t go.” The two words spoken in fractured Gallifreyan told her he hadn’t spoken their language aloud in just as long.

“I understand,” he continued in English “I have nightmares too.” His thumb started stroking her arm and she jerked out of his grip “You’ve only slept an hour.” He told her sitting up as well now.

“That’ll be fine.” She said pulling herself together enough to reply in English.

His hand went to her knee this time, stroking patterns that felt suspiciously like words.

“It’s stupid.” She said pushing him away again “You don’t have to.” 

“No, no, you caught me off guard that’s all, it’s not stupid. You just surprised me, if you need me to ... touch you, of course I will.” He said, his voice catching slightly.

His hand persistently found its way back to her bare knee. Definitely tracing words now. The circles and swirls spelling out words of comfort, _I’m here, Mistress, I’m here._ This time she didn’t push him away. Silently relishing the feeling of his hand on her skin.

“I’m fine. I don’t need you to do anything.” She answered in response, even as her mind calmed with every swirl of his fingers.

After a long pause he spoke “What if I want to?”

She looked at him and he avoided her gaze, his eyes watching his own fingers tracing across her skin.

“You don’t.” She replied bluntly, causing him to finally look up. “You don’t want,” _me_ her minded provided silently as she paused “that. You don’t like physical contact this time around, you all but said so earlier when you were talking about connecting mentally.”

His mouth opened and shut a few times as he tried to find the right words.

“I’m just trying to help.” He said softly “I won’t lie to you, before, in the console room, when your mind touched mine it was ..” he trailed off, his eyes dark as he looked at her before shaking his head “But you had a nightmare, if physicality helps you I want to help you.”

Missy was angry. Her senses were in overdrive in the aftermath of her nightmare and his stupid, infernal, beautiful hand continued to dance words across her knee. Why was he promising things he couldn’t do? Wouldn’t do. He wouldn’t and she could prove it.

She grabbed his hand halting his words and in one swift move she was on top of him, straddling his hips with own.

“You don’t want to help.” She said as she ran her hands roughly up his arms and down his chest pausing when she reached his stomach. “You don’t _want_ this.” She spat as her hands slipped under his shirt feeling the hard planes of his body tense underneath her touch. She leant forward until she could whisper directly in his ear “Don’t pretend you don’t hate every second of this.” And to make her point she licked slowly up the side of his neck to the lobe of his ear causing him to shiver.

She sat back, pushing against his chest to lift herself up, she could feel the heavy thumping of his hearts beneath her hands, his body wound so tightly he might snap. Missy smiled in satisfaction. _See_ she thought to herself. He hated it.

“Missy.” He whispered, sounding breathless.

That was when she looked into his eyes and saw the same look as before. The same look he gave her in the console room of his tardis right before he kissed her. Before he picked her up and pushed her against the console, before..

His hands on her thighs brought her back to the present. She scrambled backwards quickly, to the side and off the bed before he could even sit up.

“I have to go.” She said backing towards the door, her clothes lying forgotten on the floor.

Missy sat on the floor of the hotel room in Hawaii she had been staying in while she waited for him to respond to her messages. Her back pushed up against the door in case he came looking for her. The run from his tardis to the hotel had gained her a few stares given her state of undress but she didn’t care she needed space. She needed to be away from him. The look in his eyes had been so intense it almost scared her. It had almost looked like he wanted.. but no, he couldn’t, he didn’t. She’d been trying to prove a point he should have pushed her away. Why didn’t he push her away? It wasn’t possible he had enjoyed it, was it? 

She’d wondered before what he was working so hard to control, wondered what would happen when that control snapped, now she wasn’t so sure she wanted to find out. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As some of you may have noticed I have added this work to it's own series. Once this story is all posted I will be adding some one shots to the series that will be set in this universe, after the events of the main story. I have one written and ideas for one or two more but if there is anything you are desperate to see between these two feel free to leave a comment and let me know 😊


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The events of the Zygon invasion lead the Doctor to some personal revelations regarding Missy, who has a proposition of her own for him.

The Doctor was sat in the upper level of the console room, waiting for Clara to be ready before they headed out on another adventure, but his hearts weren’t really in it. His mind couldn’t stay off of Missy for long. Their ill-fated ‘sleepover' had been days ago and still when he closed his eyes all he could see was her straddling him, leaning close and whispering in his ear, her tongue on his neck. That was twice now he’d found himself flat on his back being straddled by her, at least she hadn’t threatened to kill him this time. He should have pushed her away, he knew that’s what she expected, being so overtly physical like that was clearly to make him uncomfortable. Yet it didn’t, and _that_ made him extremely uncomfortable. Her hands on his bare skin should have been unpleasant not made his hearts race, he should have been disgusted at her _licking_ him. His thoughts as he touched her thighs were clearly obvious judging by her reaction. He sighed and squeezed his eyes shut. Missy hadn’t seemed bothered by their kiss on the console, continuing to send him messages after as though nothing had happened, but this time she’d ran from him. She never ran from him. 

“Doctor what’s this doing in the bathroom?” Clara’s voice rang out as she walked into the console room.

He looked over at her from his chair and saw a corset pinched between two of her fingers, being held up for him to see. Ah. 

“How am I supposed to know? It’s not my business what you do with your under things," he said nonchalantly, knowing full well that it wasn’t Clara’s.

“This isn’t mine,” she chuckled “not quite my taste.” She continued wrinkling her nose.

“Yes well it probably got mixed up from the wardrobe then, shall we be off?” he asked trying to change the subject quickly.

Clara shrugged and draped the corset over one of the railings and walked towards the door. Following behind her the Doctor stopped, his eyes lingering on Missy’s corset hanging there. The tardis hummed musically causing him to glare, he’d left Missy’s abandoned clothes in his bedroom folded neatly on top of the dresser. She’d never liked Clara but this was ridiculous.

  
It’s funny he’d always loved showing off the wonders of the universe to his companions but now the Doctor found himself longing for the relative boredom of his outings with Missy. Not that spending time with Missy could ever be dull, just what they did, sitting and talking, eating, it was all so pedestrian. Too much sitting around not enough running and yet as he returned to the tardis from dropping Clara off all he wanted was a message from Missy. A set of coordinates to sit and have tea. To do anything really. The doors shut behind him and he walked over to the console and dematerialised. Sighing he turned, catching sight of Missy’s corset still hanging over the railing. He stepped towards it and picked it up the black lace soft in his hands. It was a traditional style with rigid boning inside that matched her Victorian aesthetic, although he had a suspicion that it was reinforced with some sort of protective metal alloy instead of just the traditional whalebone. He folded it the best he could and wandered towards his bedroom to store it with the rest of her clothes. He’d give them back of course, he just needed her to contact him first. Pulling out the psychic paper he sighed, nothing. It had only been four days though not long at all in the Time Lord scheme of things, barely the blink of an eye really. Putting the psychic paper away he picked up his guitar and walked back towards the console room. Plucking the chords of ‘Amazing Grace’ as he went. It could have been minutes or hours later when he was pulled from the distraction of the music by a beeping on the console. It was a message from Osgood ‘Nightmare Scenario’.

  
The Doctor stepped inside Boat One, posing for Clara and Kate as he went, poncing about in a big plane as he’d put it. He couldn’t help but think about the last time he’d been on the aircraft. Missy strapped to a box trolley in the cargo hold taunting him about Gallifrey and him taunting her right back about ruling the world. He shook his head slightly, no wonder she thought he’d want an army. But this wasn’t the time to be thinking about Missy, there was work to be done, zygons to stop, a terrified UNIT to stop, why did everyone insist war was the best option?

  
Deep in the Black Archive the Doctor ranted at Kate and Zygella “Because it's not a game, Kate. This is a scale model of war. Every war ever fought, right there in front of you. Because it's always the same. When you fire that first shot, no matter how right you feel, you have no idea who's going to die! You don't know whose children are going to scream and burn! How many hearts will be broken! How many lives shattered! How much blood will spill until everybody does what they were always going to have to do from the very beginning. Sit down and talk!” He had known the peace treaty wouldn’t last forever but he’d hoped, and now there was so much fighting and talk of war. His own thoughts stuck on the Time War and the actions that he’d undone but still haunted him. He sighed “Listen to me. Listen, I just, I just want you to think. Do you know what thinking is? It's just a fancy word for changing your mind.”

“I will not change my mind," Zygella in Clara’s form told him.

“Then you will die stupid. Alternatively, you could step away from that box, you can walk right out of that door and you could stand your revolution down," he shot back.

“No! I'm not stopping this, Doctor. I started it. I will not stop it. You think they'll let me go, after what I've done?” Fear creeping into her voice.

“You're all the same, you screaming kids. You know that? Look at me, I'm unforgivable. Well, here's the unforeseeable. I forgive you. After all you've done, I forgive you.” He was speaking to Zygella but his thoughts were on Missy. On the version of the Master he’d cradled in his arms on the Valiant, whispering words of forgiveness in his ear. He’d been so quick to forgive back then, even after the year that never was, why was it so hard for him to forgive Missy? Except .. somewhere along the way he had forgiven her, he’d stopped feeling angry and hurt and he wanted.. he wanted what she’d asked for in the graveyard. The realisation hit him hard. He wanted his friend back. The memory of her voice echoed in his mind _‘we can go together, just you and me. Just like the old days.’_

“You don't understand. You will never understand," Zygella raged at him in Clara’s voice dragging him away from his thoughts of Missy.

Something inside him snapped at those words. “I don't understand? Are you kidding? Me? Of course I understand. I mean, do you call this a war? This funny little thing? This is not a war! I fought in a bigger war than you will ever know. I did worse things than you could ever imagine. And when I close my eyes I hear more screams than anyone could ever be able to count! And do you know what you do with all that pain? Shall I tell you where you put it? You hold it tight till it burns your hand, and you say this. No one else will ever have to live like this. No one else will have to feel this pain. Not on my watch!” 

They did the right thing in the end, Kate and Zygella. Well he supposed she was the second Osgood now. Crisis averted. Earth saved. All in a days work as they say. Clara had stuck around for a while afterwards, and he was glad he really was, he’d thought for a moment, a terrifying moment that he’d truly lost her, but his hearts were still stuck in memories of the Time War. His nightmares come to life, flashing before his eyes. He’d dropped Clara home after a couple of days, told her she needed to get back to work, she looked like she wanted to make a fuss but in the end she left without a fight. The memories of fire, the screaming and fear were drowning him and he only wanted one thing, Missy. But she still hadn’t contacted him. No messages on the psychic paper or the tardis phone. The tardis tried to soothe him but it didn’t make a difference. Suddenly the rotors started whirring and groaning before screeching to a stop as they landed but he hadn’t put in any coordinates.

He stood by the console staring at the door as it swung open, Missy leant against the door frame.

“Yes dear?” she asked with a hand on her hip. 

“I forgive you.” The words leaving his mouth before he even knew he was going to say them.

She scowled at him “And what _exactly_ have I done wrong now?” 

He hadn’t meant to say it, not then anyway, just blurted out out of nowhere. Now she was angry, scowling at him for seemingly accusing her of some wrongdoing. He shook his head at her.

“Bad day," he told her hoping she’d understand.

Missy stayed in the doorway, neither entering nor leaving the tardis, and raised a questioning eyebrow at him.

“Zygons versus UNIT. All suckers and rebellion and bazookas and that was just the zygons," he tried to explain.

“Sounds like fun," she replied casually.

“Not really. There was a peace treaty. I set it up the day..” he paused, his head pounding as he remembered that day “the day I saved Gallifrey.” He looked down shaking his head, saved didn’t seem like the right word. 

Missy was looking at him quizzically.

“Long story. It’s hard to remember a lot of it, I crossed my own time line multiple times, I really don’t want to talk about it right now," he said as the memories continued to press in on him.

“So why are you here?” she asked her voice losing the harshness it had before.

“I needed..” he started and then stopped before he could say _you_. “The tardis brought me here.” Pausing before he added “Come in?” 

Missy hesitated before taking a single step inside, letting the door shut behind her. 

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

“What are you wearing?” he blurted out.

He hadn’t noticed before, he wasn’t very observant with things like that, but the Victorian get up was gone replaced with all black. A long sleeved plain black top, black leather trousers and black leather boots with just a hint of purple on the lining. Her hair was still pinned back but not its usual neat updo more of a messy pile on top of her head.

“Excuse me?” she asked raising an eyebrow again.

“The.. the" he struggled to find the words as he waved a hand indicating towards her clothes “the outfit it doesn’t look right.” 

She sighed and put her hands on her hips. “I meant what’s wrong with you not what’s wrong with me but if you must know my other outfit was bespoke, as in custom made and very expensive, and seeing as you still have it I had to wear _something_. You couldn’t expect me to just go running around in your underpants now could you? Besides you’re not the only one who can change your look.” 

“Well I don’t like it," he told her. 

Which wasn’t exactly the truth but the tight outfit left little to the imagination and he was having enough trouble keeping his mind away from images of her straddling him wearing nothing but his t-shirt and boxers as it was. 

She let out a snort of laughter. “Maybe you should have given my clothes back then.”

“You didn’t come and get them," he shot back.

“Oh I see is that how friendship works? I make every effort to see you but you never bother to contact me," she spat angrily before realising what she’d said.

They both looked around awkwardly for a moment before the Doctor said “Clara found your corset.” Not making the atmosphere any better. 

“Well that’s what happens when you have more than one woman in your bedroom," Missy said pausing before asking with a smirk “Does she think you’ve got a Mistress? I suppose in a manner of speaking you do.” 

The Doctor shook his head, he didn’t _have_ Missy “The tardis moved it, Clara’s never been to my bedroom. No one else has been in my.. bedroom," he admitted trailing off. 

“Well then,” she said after a moments pause “let’s just hope she thinks you’re into a bit of cross dressing.” 

He stared at her furrowing his brow as she walked over and stood at the console near him, not close enough to touch. He wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

“What’s wrong Doctor?” she asked again almost softly.

“Bad day," he repeated as he looked into her eyes.

She nodded in understanding. 

“We can go now if you like," she said looking down and running her hands over the console.

The tardis, surprisingly, didn’t make a fuss just hummed gently.

“Go where?” he asked, confused.

“Gallifrey," she said without looking at him.

His hearts nearly missed a beat.

“But it’s not there," he replied quietly.

She looked up at him then, her eyes were sad yet she smiled. “I didn’t lie you just didn’t look in the right time. With two of us piloting we could get there easy enough. If that’s what you want.”

Home. He could go home. His elation quickly soured as he once again thought of all the screaming, the burning, the pain that he had caused. They all knew, the Doctor was the one who destroyed Gallifrey. They would never welcome him back with open arms not after what he’d done. Even if it had been undone, even if it was as though it had never happened at all, they would know. His eyes found Missy’s again, and found barely concealed fear dancing there. She didn’t want to go. Anger flared inside him as he thought of why, the reason she was scared to return. Yet still here she was willing to take him anyway.

“How did you know that’s what I was thinking about?” he asked.

“I can see it in your eyes. The war," she told him still smiling sadly.

The Doctor rubbed his hands over his face and took a deep breath. 

“No.”

Missy turned sharply towards him her eyes narrowing.

“I don’t want to go to Gallifrey. We spent so long longing to leave, to get out and see the universe, why don’t we go and see some stars instead?” he said walking past her “I’ll go and get your clothes.”

  
The tardis let him get to his bedroom quickly and he was grateful. He sat down on the bed for a moment contemplating what he’d just done. He was putting so much trust in Missy right now, walking away and leaving her in the console room with a request of seeing some stars. He felt the familiar rumble of the tardis materialising somewhere, without the grinding noise he was so accustomed to, it seemed as though Missy didn’t leave the brakes on. She always did do better at the academy than him, tardis piloting included. He stood and walked over to the dresser picking up Missy’s clothes, he couldn’t help but breathe in the faint smell that came off of them. Artron energy and red grass and home. Hindsight was a wonderful thing but what he’d said was true, he couldn’t wait to leave Gallifrey, he’d hated it there never wanted to visit when he could, one of the only things that made it bearable all those years growing up was Koschei. 

He walked back to the console room to find Missy sitting in the doorway, her legs hanging out. The Doctor smiled as he walked over to her, glad he was right to trust her. He placed her clothes down and went to sit beside her, letting his legs hang the same as hers. They sat shoulder to shoulder in the small doorway. Looking out he saw a vast cosmic pinnacle, a mountainous formation stretching as far as the eye could see made up primarily of swirling dust and gasses. Glowing with blue and green and red as the intense radiation and super fast winds shaped and compressed the pillar. It was beautiful.

“The Carina Nebula," Missy told him.

“A stellar nursery?” he asked slightly surprised.

“You wanted to see the stars, what’s better than watching them be born," she said as she gently rested her head against his shoulder.

The Doctor leant his head against the top of Missy’s and let himself breathe in the scent of her hair. Home. He didn’t need to go to Gallifrey. Everything he needed from there was right here. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A chunk of the speech here was transplanted straight from 'The Zygon Invasion/Inversion'. I've added my own inner thoughts etc but I just couldn't bring myself to rewrite something that was so wonderfully written in the first place. So credit to Stephen Moffat for that also credit to Peter Capaldi who did an amazing job with those scenes, that I watched many times while writing this chapter.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor doesn't want to go to Gallifrey.. but why? Missy struggles to comprehend what has sparked this change in him.

  
They sat there in the doorway for what seemed like an eternity. Missy’s hearts were pounding so hard it almost hurt. She couldn’t quite comprehend what was happening, the Doctor had refused her offer to go to Gallifrey he’d then allowed her to pilot his tardis and now they were sat side by side watching the stars. It was like her childhood dreams come true but it didn’t make sense why. She had seen the horrors of the Time War dancing behind his eyes, could almost feel the guilt he felt coming off of him, so she’d made a snap decision. Gallifrey. If she took him there he could see that the planet was alive and well, not that she wanted to see those bastards but if it stopped him spiralling into his own guilt she’d manage a quick trip. But he’d refused. Why had he refused? Sure he was right when he’d said they had always longed to leave but he’d looked ready to kill her when he thought she’d lied about the coordinates in the graveyard. What could have changed so drastically that he now didn’t care about going to Gallifrey?

Eventually when her legs had begun to turn numb from sitting in the same position too long Missy stood up, placing a hand on the Doctor’s shoulder as she did so, and went to collect her regular clothes. She used one of the tardis’s many bathrooms to change leaving her leather outfit there, she did quite like the all black look but putting her corset back on felt like getting her armour back, well it was made with titanium boning after all. The layers of her Victorian outfit allowing her to put her mask back in place. She didn’t know what the Doctor’s plan was or why he was acting the way he was but she wasn’t going to let it ruffle her. Setting her face into its trademark smirk she wandered back towards the console room.

“So am I your co-pilot now then?” she asked as she reached the console.

For dramatic effect she began slowly walking around it. 

The Doctor glanced over his shoulder at her from his spot still in the doorway. 

“If you like,” his words carrying across the room.

Suddenly Missy was transported three hundred and sixty four days in the past, almost an entire orbit of the Earth around its sun, to the graveyard where her and the Doctor stood surrounded by her cybermen. His words an echo of her own. ‘You’d be clapped in irons.’ he’d told her back then. Her reply ‘If you like.’ had meant so many things. But in her most honest moments Missy knew that she was admitting to the fact that she wanted to travel with him, to be with him. There was no way he meant the same.

“Oh I don’t think Clara would be very happy about that, doesn’t she still want to kill me?” she said trying to steer away from the well of emotion those words had opened.

The Doctor sighed and heaved himself to his feet before turning to face her “I thought you were Vegas?”

“Excuse me?” she responded, not sure where he was heading with his question. 

“At the Ritz, you told me to consider you Vegas. What does it matter what Clara thinks of you she’s not here, I am.” The glow from the open doors framing him in cosmic light. 

“And what do you think of me?” Missy asked quietly, unnerved by his honesty.

He stared at her intensely for a moment before breaking eye contact and turning to close the doors. 

Missy stayed in the tardis three days, he never answered her question but they didn’t speak of Clara again. They spent most of the time doing basic maintenance on the tardis, how he got the ship to fly in that state was one of the great mysteries of the universe. Still the days were filled with easy conversation, banter and laughter between them, and it terrified her. It felt so much like friendship, real, true friendship and she didn’t think she could bare it if it was all fake. So she left. She made up an excuse and just left. 

  
To her surprise it was only a week later that he called. Apparently he’d taken to heart what she’d said about being able to contact her. 

“I’m picking you up,” he’d said and almost simultaneously she’d heard the noise of the tardis landing.

“Thanks for the warning,” she smirked, although she was secretly pleased to travel by tardis instead of vortex manipulator, even her modified one still gave her a headache.

She pushed the door open and stepped inside, he was typing away pressing buttons and pulling levers, making quite the show of things. The tardis dematerialised and rematerialised in a matter of seconds. The Doctor beamed at her and grabbed her hand dragging her towards the door, throwing them open with a flourish. They stepped out into a storage cupboard of some sort.

He let out a slightly disappointed “Oh.”

Pulling her towards the door of the cupboard he opened it with the same flourish, like a silent gesture of _ta da_. This time the door swung open and revealed a bustling casino.

“You brought me to Vegas?” she asked raising an eyebrow.

“It’s funny,” he replied furrowing his own.

She couldn’t help the smirk on her face. 

“Well come on then I’m feeling lucky,” she told him with a wink and a squeeze of his hand. 

They walked hand in hand through the casino to one of those machines used to turn earth money into plastic chips, of course the Doctor never seemed to carry money of any sort so he inconspicuously pointed his sonic screwdriver at the machine, letting a pile of chips fall out. Missy smirked and raised an eyebrow at him.

“What?” he asked.

“Nothing dear,” she replied grabbing half of the chips. 

It always amused her the Doctor’s ideas of right and wrong. How robbery and stealing were wrong yet when was the last time he paid for something? She chuckled quietly as she made her way over to one of the slot machines.

It wasn’t long before the Doctor got up from his machine by her side.

“I’m going to go look around a bit,” he told her. 

“Try not to get captured,” she shot over her shoulder.

He stopped in his tracks and turned back to face her “Captured by who?” he frowned.

“Anyone,” she shrugged “just seems to happen doesn’t it.”

He shook his head and walked away smiling.

  
Missy was sat at a blackjack table, a large pile of chips in front of her, when she felt the Doctor appear at her shoulder. 

“You’re cheating.” He whispered leaning close, his voice caressing her ear.

Missy smirked at him and signalled to the dealer she was leaving, collecting her chips in a small purple purse she pulled from her jacket pocket. As they walked away from the table she linked her arm through the Doctor’s.

“Did you find anything interesting? Anyone enslaved? Invasions about to happen?” she asked.

“No but I did find a bar that has a view of the whole strip,” he told her.

She smiled as he led the way. 

  
The bar was surprisingly nice, all black glass and dark wood. They stood out on the balcony leaning against the railing with their drinks in hand. For such a busy place the balcony was practically deserted, their spot at the far end giving them some privacy from the few other couples that littered the balcony. She let her shoulder rub against his as she shifted her position slightly.

“Why are we here?” Missy asked as she sipped her outrageously pink cocktail and looked out at the glittering skyline.

“Are you not enjoying yourself?” he asked with a frown.

“I didn’t say that,” she smirked.

It wasn’t a supernova or anything but there was something quite mesmerising about watching all the lights, the buzzing energy of the town where no one seemed to stop. 

“We’ve been doing this for ages. Dinner, drinks..” he took a sip of his dark green drink as if to prove his point.

“Dating,” she supplied with a pointed look in his direction.

He avoided her gaze and looked out over the Las Vegas skyline “If you say so.” 

  
They used her winnings from the blackjack table to book into a room and sat together on a small sofa on the balcony, talking until the sun came up. 

“Order us some room service dear.” Missy said leaning her head against his shoulder briefly. 

The Doctor grumbled but stood up and went inside to the room service phone to order them some breakfast. 

Missy smiled, she was enjoying the easy sort of friendship they had fallen into this trip. The soft touch of her head on his arm or her shoulder against his no longer making him pull away. She tried to push down the gnawing feeling in her stomach that it couldn’t last.

  
An hour and a stack of breakfast pancakes later Missy and the Doctor were stood in the storage cupboard outside of the tardis. 

“I don’t mind dropping you somewhere,” he told her but she shook her head.

“No you’ve got things to be getting on with,” she said smiling. “This was nice.” 

She stepped in towards him and stood on her toes to press a kiss to his cheek. He nodded. 

“It was. I’ll see you soon,” he said opening the door to the tardis.

  
When he was gone Missy returned to the room they had stayed in and climbed into the unused bed. Here was as good a place as any to catch up on some sleep. She hadn’t slept since her ‘sleepover' with the Doctor. She still didn’t know where this change in him had come from and she didn’t know if she could trust it but she wanted to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one more chapter to go guys! And I must say it's quite the ride .. 
> 
> I don't quite feel ready for this story to end, it has now got over 900 hits which is the most out of anything I've written and I'm a little in shock. All of the kudos and comments mean so much to me, thank you all for enjoying this as much as I've enjoyed creating it. 
> 
> Speaking of 'The End' I currently have one one shot to add to this series and the start of a small multi chapter. These will start to be posted the week after the final chapter so the end isn't reeeeally the end 😉


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor runs to Missy in his hour of need.

She was gone. Clara. Clara was gone. The Doctor stumbled into the tardis, the pain unbearable, why could he never keep them safe? This was all his fault. “Missy,” he spoke aloud, willing the tardis to understand. He needed her. 

The whirring of the rotors filled the room as he sank to the floor in front of the console, his hearts hammering, it hurt. Every beat of his hearts sending the grief crashing over him. His head dropped between his knees as he gripped his hair. She was gone. 

The noise of the tardis stopped and moments later he heard Missy’s voice “Two visits in one week? What _have_ I done to deserve..” her voice stopped dead as she saw him.

Then she was there. Kneeling in front of him, pulling him to her, his head against her chest as she soothingly stroked his hair. He could hear the steady thumping of her hearts in his ear and it broke him. Sobs wracked his body, the grief and the guilt were overwhelming. It was his fault. It was always his fault. Missy whispered soothing sounds in his ear as she rocked them gently.

It seemed like hours passed before his tears subsided, maybe it was, his body felt stiff from sitting in the same position on the floor for so long. He shifted and lifted his head up looking at Missy, she leant in and briefly placed her forehead against his before pulling back. The gesture made his hearts clench with something other than loss.

“Come,” she said.

She held his hand as she led him through the tardis into one of the smaller libraries. Not the vast main library but a small room with bookshelves lining the walls, stuffed with soft cushioned sofas and lit only by a fireplace which roared to life when they entered. He thought he heard Missy whisper a soft thank you as she stroked the wall with her free hand. It reminded him of the room they had used so long ago after their pizza by the lake. She led them to the sofa in front of the fire, pausing she removed her shoes, placing them by the fire neatly. He stood there motionless watching her walk in stockinged feet, missing the feel of her hand in his. She stood in front of him and unbuttoned his deep red velvet jacket, he let her push it down his arms and fold it over the arm of the sofa. He continued watching as she unbuttoned her own jacket, placing it next to his. It felt so domestic yet so normal. She settled herself in the corner of the sofa and once again pulled him against her. He laid with his head in her lap staring out into the fire, one of her hands was buried in his hair, nails gently scraping against his scalp. She didn’t speak, didn’t question him, she was just there. 

“She’s gone,” he spoke quietly into the room, his voice hoarse. “They always leave in the end. They move on, they find someone else, they..” he drew in a shaky breath “die. I can never protect them. Why does everyone have to leave?” 

“Not everyone,” she spoke slowly, almost hesitantly “I’m still here. I’m always here,” her voice lowering to almost a whisper.

Missy was right. She was here, she had become a constant. Ever since he’d tracked her down to that abandoned house she’d never been far away. He didn’t realise how accustomed he’d come to her presence, they way she walked into the tardis and swanned about like she belonged there. How easily their conversation flowed. How instinctively she knew what to do to help him. It didn’t make the pain stop, the aching hole inside of him where his impossible girl resided, but it made him want to hold on to Missy with everything he had. He couldn’t lose her. Not now. Especially not now. She’d changed, he knew she had, the way she was here comforting him showed him that. The tardis finding her and letting her in told him that. So many little things showed him how different she was. All those months ago she’d asked him for a chance to be beautiful and that’s exactly what she was. He could hear the blood rushing in his ears, he couldn’t lose her. 

The Doctor sat up suddenly “Don’t leave,” he pleaded desperately. 

“I’m not going anywhere dear,” she replied instantly.

“No. No,” he shook his head “You don’t understand. Don’t leave. Ever. Stay here. Stay with me Missy.” He didn’t care that he sounded desperate he needed her to know. 

She needed to know how much he wanted her to stay. No, how much he needed her to. Everything hurt but she helped, she soothed his aching hearts in a way no one else did, in a way no one else ever could. No one could understand him like she could, she was the only one he’d ever met that was even remotely like him. He didn’t give her a chance to reply. A chance to say no. He moved towards her quickly grabbing her face with both hands as she looked at him quizzically. He crashed his lips against hers, a desperate needy plea. His hands gripped and pulled at her face, her hair, needing her closer. It took only a moment for her to respond. If his mind had been clearer he would have noticed how much gentler she was being than him. His bruising kisses and rough touches met with soft lips and hands that gently stroked his face.

“Don’t leave me. Don’t go. I need you,” his whispered words broken with kisses.

Missy pulled back breathless, her hand on his chest. “I know you’re hurting,” she told him.

She spoke so gently. The concern shining in her eyes as she looked at him. Her hair was messy where he’d been pulling at it, half fallen out of its elaborate up do. He slowly leant in, reaching behind her and undoing the clasp that held the remaining hair in place. It tumbled down in messy waves around her face. The Doctor couldn’t help it, still leaning in he stroked her cheek before running his hand through her loose hair. Her eyes closed at his touch and she leant into his hand. 

“You make it hurt less,” he admitted.

Her eyes opened and she smiled softly. Since when could Missy do everything so softly, so gently? The desperate need built in his chest again as he looked at her. With her dark hair loose and jacket removed she looked different, so relaxed, so at home. As his fingers stroked down her neck he caught a glimpse of gold there, opening her top button he pulled out the necklace she wore. It was the one he had given her to replace the brooch she had lost on Skaro. 

“Doctor?” she asked quietly.

He answered her question with another kiss, just as intense as the first. He needed to touch her, he wanted to feel her skin. Her skin that so perfectly matched his own, not hot and sweaty like the humans he was used to spending so much time with. Her skin that felt like home. He sucked in her lower lip and felt her smirk. Their kisses growing in their intensity. He had her shirt unbuttoned quickly, pushing it open and letting his hands drift across her shoulders as he pushed it down her arms and off. Her fingers making quick work of his waistcoat that was discarded just as quickly. Then suddenly she was pushing him back until they were both sat upright again facing each other, her hand on his chest keeping him away. 

“Stop. This.. this isn’t real, you’re hurting,” she said breathlessly.

His hand came up and covered hers on his chest. He understood now how she had felt after her nightmare, when she’d almost pleaded with him to touch her. The physicality of her skin was here and now and real, an anchor in the sea of pain inside him. 

“When you needed physicality I said I’d help you, why can’t you do the same?” he asked gripping her hand.

“That’s not fair,” Missy replied quietly.

She let him keep hold of her hand though.

“No you’re right. I’m sorry,” the Doctor apologised.

It wasn’t fair to force her to be that anchor.

“That wasn’t about sex,” she told him bluntly not meeting his eyes.

“Neither is this,” he replied quickly trying to explain “You’re real, you’re here, I just need..”

She cut him off by pushing against his chest, forcing him to turn as she climbed onto his lap. He tried to speak but she shushed him and gently stroked his face before resting her forehead against his. She slipped easily into his mind as she had before, feelings of warmth and comfort washing over him. His hands found her hips and held on as the feelings surrounded him. She was on her knees straddling his lap her legs tight to his sides, her loose hair fell forward, he wanted to tuck it behind her ears but couldn’t bare to loosen his grip on her hips. 

“If you don’t want me to touch you, you need to stop,” he managed to get out in a whisper.

It was hard enough to resist her without her being inside his head, sending feelings that could only be described as kind and compassionate. It was too much.

“It’s not about not wanting to, it’s about what’s right. You’re in pain,” Missy said pulling out of his mind but leaving her head against his. 

“Oh right yeah because being morally correct is such a turn off for me,” he said it jokingly but the way she was acting truly was making it harder to resist her.

Missy sat upright and placed her hands on his shoulders raising an eyebrow at him before letting out a laugh. “Of course you’d see it like that.” 

Her skirts were pushed high up her thighs to allow her to sit on his lap the way she was, once again giving him a view of the tops of her stockings. His hands drifted to the lace there, fingers tracing the point where soft lace met softer skin. 

“You’re right I am hurting, and I need you,” he admitted not meeting her eyes.

“No you don’t,” she responded immediately, her voice disbelieving.

The Doctor let his hands run up over her hips to trace the lines of her corset. The corset he’d seen before but never like this, tightly clinging to the curves of the body she so proudly wore. He swallowed his embarrassment at having undressed her, at having so hastily exposed her like this in his need for physical touch. She didn’t bat him away now though, allowing him to run his hands up and over to the top of her chest, down her arms and back again, basking in the feel of her skin. 

“I want you,” he breathed out, lifting his eyes to meet hers.

“No you don’t,” she repeated, her voice slightly more hesitant this time.

Slowly he reached for her face, giving her a chance to pull away.

“Please?” he whispered. 

A moment passed before Missy closed the gap between them, ever so gently pressing her lips to his. It crossed his mind that this was the first true kiss she had initiated, 3W and the alleyway didn’t really count there were other motives behind those. 

She pulled back an inch or two “Since when have you wanted me?” she asked in a whisper.

He rubbed his nose against hers and pecked her lips “Since always and forever Koschei.” 

Missy pulled her head back a little more and frowned at him.

“Don’t be so sentimental Theta,” she said flippantly. Her words would have stung had it not have been for the use of his matching nickname. “I mean here and now, in these bodies, me and you.” 

“I don’t know,” he replied honestly “It’s not like it happened all at once, I just ... we’re friends aren’t we?” he asked pleadingly.

“Are we?” she questioned right back. 

He hesitated, surely she knew by now. “I want to be.” 

“And _this_ ,” she began as her hand found its way to the top button of his shirt “is part of friendship?” she asked undoing the button and slipping her hand in to caress his neck. 

The Doctor swallowed hard at her touch.

“It can be part of ours.” 

It was later in the day, or maybe into the next, that the Doctor was sitting in one of the tardis gardens. Not that it really mattered how much time passed while the tardis was in the vortex. They were existing in a sort of dead zone where the days never changed but time continued to pass, with Clara gone he no reason to keep track, no one to be on time for.

“Tea,” Missy announced as she walked in.

The door swung shut behind her once again completing the illusion of a garden. He was sat in an ornate metal chair next to a small matching table, that was inside a wooden gazebo surrounded by a garden of lush flowers and plants from a variety of planets. Missy placed the tea tray she was carrying on the table before sitting in the matching chair opposite him. She made a show of preparing the tea, adding milk and six lumps of sugar to his cup, keeping her own plain.

“You should eat too,” she said pushing the cup towards him.

He just nodded as he picked up his cup and sipped the scalding liquid, looking out at the array of colourful flowers. She had forced him to try and sleep too, not that he had managed it, the sight of the raven piercing Clara’s chest her body crumpling to the floor was all he saw when he closed his eyes.

“You were right you know,” he said suddenly.

“I usually am but go on,” she smirked peering over her cup at him.

“You told me you wanted me to realise we’re not so different,” the Doctor recalling their conversation in the graveyard that felt almost a lifetime ago.

“Ah and do you think I’m a hero now? Or are you a villain?” she asked still smirking.

“Neither. And I know that’s not what you meant either. It’s not about good and bad, right and wrong, it’s about us,” he admitted.

“I want my friend back,” she quoted herself.

“And you’ve got me,” he answered truthfully.

“Do I? Really?” she asked still sounding like she didn’t believe him.

“Yes. I meant what I said. I know you think I’m just saying it because of Clara but I really do want you to stay. To see the stars together like we always planned. Will you stay with me?” he pleaded.

“As long as you need me,” she replied.

He sighed. That wasn’t it at all.

“No. No it’s not about that. I don’t need you to look after me, to make sure I’m eating and sleeping and not falling into a depression. I don’t just need you I want you. The tea and biscuits, the working on the tardis, watching the stars, the intellectual debates, reading together even pulling me into that damn lake like a child I need it all. I _want_ it all Missy,” his voice raising as he tried to explain.

She stared at him her eyes widening slightly before she nodded. Just once. Then reached across to take his hand in her own.

“Okay,” she said giving it a squeeze. 

“So where to first then?” she asked after a few minutes passed.

“Raxacoricofallapatorius,” he replied trying to keep a straight face.

“You want to see the Slitheen?” Missy asked looking almost disgusted.

“Nah. No one ever _wants_ to see the Slitheen. It’s just fun to say,” he said with a smirk.

She just rolled her eyes at him in response.

“Riiiiight,” she said trying to conceal her own smirk behind her teacup “Sooo where then?”

“The Medusa cascade?” he offered.

“Been there done that,” she said accompanied by a fake yawn. “Come on you’re supposed to be the expert at this.”

“Well where would you like to go?” he asked. 

Travelling with Missy would definitely be different. She wouldn’t be wowed by every time and place he showed her. In most cases she would probably know more about a world than he would, but that was a good thing. They could travel together as equals.

“Hmm well there is this planet called Midnight that I’ve been meaning to check out, there’s a waterfall of ..”

“No,” he cut her off abruptly.

“No?” she questioned raising an eyebrow.

“No,” he repeated firmly.

“Well you tell me then,” she said leaning back in her chair and eyeing him suspiciously. He knew she’d force that story out of him sooner or later.

“Well Midnight is a resort planet so how about another pleasure planet? Argolis maybe?” he asked.

“You mean the one you took Romana to?” she asked sharply.

The Doctor chuckled to himself. “You’re not still jealous are you?”

“I’ve never been jealous,” she spat as she placed her cup with a bit too much force back on the tea tray.

“Oh well that’s good then,” he smirked “So is that a no?”

“It's a maybe,” she paused “But first we need to figure out you’re favourite food,” she announced standing up.

“And why do we need to do that?” he asked, looking at her confused.

She stepped behind him and placed her arms around his neck leaning close to his ear.

“I’ve read that when people are sad you make their favourite food to comfort them,” she whispered as though her words would somehow frighten him. Or maybe it was her that was frightened.

He reached up and held onto her arms that were around him.

“You want to comfort me?” he asked softly.

He felt her shrug against him and he smiled.

“Fish and chips,” he told her.

“Good choice,” Missy said as she munched on a chip.

The Doctor smiled at her as he picked up a chip of his own with the small wooden fork that came with them. Inhaling the smell of salt and malt vinegar.

“You didn’t make them though,” he teased her before popping the chip in his mouth savouring the taste.

“No I went to Earth for them which is worse,” she said with a grimace.

He laughed and their shoulders rubbed against one another. Once again he had let Missy pilot the tardis whilst he sat in the garden, more importantly the tardis had let Missy pilot her. He was glad she approved of his choice to ask Missy to stay. 

“We’ve been meeting up on Earth for ages you can’t hate it that much,” he said once he stopped laughing.

“Oh trust me I do dear. I always chose Earth because I know it’s your favourite,” she told him avoiding his eyes, instead choosing to look out of the open tardis doors.

They were once again sat side by side in the doorway of the tardis. Missy had collected dinner and he had chosen the view. He had parked them miles above a supernova in one of the outer quadrants of the Andromeda galaxy. It felt oddly comforting watching the massive star come to the end of its life, serving to remind him that everywhere in the universe all things come to an end eventually, it was just a fact of existence no matter how much he may want to change that sometimes.

“Thank you,” he said tilting his head to rest on hers.

“What for?” she asked.

“Braving the horrors of the human race to get me chips,” he replied with a smile.

“You’re welcome dear,” she said giving his knee a quick squeeze before continuing to pick at her bag of chips.

“I could get used to this,” he told her with a slight sigh.

“Me bringing you food?” the smirk apparent in her voice.

“This. You. Everything. It’s nice,” he tried to explain.

“I know,” she cut him off before he could continue. “You’re right it is nice. I think I could get used to it too.” 

The Doctor looked down and saw the small smile on Missy’s face. Not her teasing smile or her trademark smirk, a small genuine smile. He grinned before placing another chip into his mouth and resting his head back against her. If this was what life with Missy was going to be like he was sure he’d get used to it very quickly indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that's it, we made it! I like to think of this as the Doctor and Missy's origin story, how they go from best enemies to ... well let's just say friends.
> 
> A massive thank you to each and every one of you that has taken the time to read, leave kudos or comment ❤
> 
> P.s some of you may have been a little disappointed that the Doctor and Missy didn't take things further during THAT scene. Well the first one shot being added to this universe will be rated E ... you're welcome 😉 
> 
> These extra stories are completely optional and if you want to leave this chapter as the end that's absolutely fine. If you continue following this universe I'll see you in the next one!


End file.
